Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Background check Screening of Prospective Members

[CJ Q (homeschoolvideo]

Someone at my community had talked to friends who lived in intentional
communities and they told them "Child Sexual abuse is common in intentional
communtiies"
That terrified me and is one reason I am working on a group to prevent that.
There are a few reasons why cohousing is a target. First off, predators
need access to children.  So, as a teacher, we get trained on how to look
for behaviors that are suspicious. The main thing that most abusers do is
to groom - not just the children so they can hurt them, but the parents and
the community. So cohousing is already a place where you trust, and love,
your neighbors.  If a child says anything, that will make the community in
turmoil and the predator knows this.
I assumed intentional communities were targets because of the drugs and
freestyle lives of the hippie past. But now I see it is more because
everyone wouldn't know how to deal with accusations or abuse.  I also have
found out that there are adults who seually assault adults in communties.
I would also say that child seual abuse is too common - one out of 4
children are victims, so it is happening in every neighborhood in the
country but in cohousing, we know each other more so it is not as simple as
calling the police and communities struggle with having outsiders.
As part of the Sexual Abuse Prevention, I have a presentation that focuses
on behaviors and things communities can do to protect children. We are
working on resources for adults, and I hope we will be a place for
questions and finding resources when there is an incident.
Unfortunately I have seen first hand how communities can fall apart if
anyone considers something abuse. And that children who are victimized can
then go and victimize other children since the groomer has made it normal
to that child.  I also have heard of communities trying to be helpful to a
young offender but then the victims, also in the community, growing up and
telling the adults they felt unheard and hurt by their actions so now (a
happy ending) that community is working on healing and supporting the now
adult survivors.  And, as we've seen on this list, another community
struggles with adult on adult harassment so all these reasons show why
cohousing can be a paradise for those who want to hurt others. We assume
people won't, and that's what those who do are counting on.  I also have
seen first hand, in a school where we were all trained better, that the
abuser had groomed all the adults and was getting away with it until
outsiders finally stepped in and fired her.
It is a horrible subject to think about but if we don't, it could be worse.
Background screenings may or may not be legal, but asking for them is one
step to making a place inhospitable to child predators. I think they aren't
very useful since it only has in it's database those who have been caught
and found guilty.  But if someone says no to one, that is interesting. Now,
it could be they have something else in their background. At one school
where I worked someone had marijuana charges and we had a whole consensus
meeting about that and then had to change our rules to allow him to
volunteer or pick up his child. So, it depends.
The next quarterly meeting is on 27th, email me if you'd like the zoom link.

I hope this information helped - you can email me for clarification or
questions or anything on this!
Carol
homeschoolvideo [at] gmail.com


On Wed, Mar 16, 2022 at 8:47 AM Kristina B. <kristinabridget [at] hotmail.com>
wrote:

> I would agree, except for sex offender registry websites. I have a 2.5
> year old daughter and what was said on this list recently about cohousing
> being a perfect target environment made me a little nervous. I could not
> imagine anyone I know from our community but why would anyone object to
> that screening I wonder? Open to hearing other thoughts...
> ________________________________
> From: Cohousing-L <cohousing-l-bounces+kristinabridget=
> hotmail.com [at] cohousing.org> on behalf of Margo Solod <margosolod [at] 
> gmail.com>
> Sent: Friday, February 25, 2022 8:04 AM
> To: cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org <cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org>
> Subject: Re: [C-L]_ Background check Screening of Prospective Members
>
> I find the idea abhorrent and totally against the spirit of cohousing.
>
> On Fri, Feb 25, 2022 at 11:02 AM Diana Carroll <dianaecarroll [at] gmail.com>
> wrote:
>
> > Before you ding people on account of arrests and incarceration, consider
> > the inequitable way our law enforcement and legal system treat people of
> > color and immigrants.
> >
> >
> >
> > On Fri, Feb 25, 2022 at 10:58 AM Jim Bronson <
> jimbronsonashland [at] gmail.com>
> > wrote:
> >
> > > Thanks to others on this listserv for reflecting on their financial
> > > screening approach.  A similar, currently hot topic for us at River
> Song
> > is
> > > screening for behavior history, so-called background checks.  We
> probably
> > > all have encountered the numerous websites that promise to find your
> > person
> > > of interest, investigate their interactions with the law and
> government,
> > > and give you a report of their misdeeds, including arrests,
> convictions,
> > > fines, etc.  At RSC we wonder if these sites are accurate, and whether
> it
> > > is ethical and appropriate to use them to screen for prospective
> members.
> > >
> > > For reference, here is a link to a Seattle Weekly article that
> suggests 8
> > > sites they have investigated.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> >
> https://nam12.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.seattleweekly.com%2Fmarketplace%2Ftop-8-background-checks-sites-to-search-criminal-records-social-media-accounts-educational-history-and-more%2F&amp;data=04%7C01%7C%7C8cff531606a24d75cd3008d9f92b4eda%7C84df9e7fe9f640afb435aaaaaaaaaaaa%7C1%7C0%7C637814786671269554%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJWIjoiMC4wLjAwMDAiLCJQIjoiV2luMzIiLCJBTiI6Ik1haWwiLCJXVCI6Mn0%3D%7C3000&amp;sdata=y86do%2F60Vi40EhI2lVMt4G2zwkRHn7A0EMJI0EMZDKw%3D&amp;reserved=0
> > >
> > > There are many more back-ground check sites advertising through Google
> > > which will pop up when you enter a name search.  I would love to hear
> > from
> > > cohousing membership team folks about this topic.  Thanks.  Jim
> Bronson -
> > > River Song Cohousing, Eugene, OR
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> --
> Margo Solod
> Author of *Cuttyhunk: Life on the Rock, Coyote Summer and Washed Up in the
> Waves*
>
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