Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Voluntary Community Participation?

[Kathleen Lowry (kathleenlowrylpcclmft]

Joyce, thank you. Yes I wonder about pay rather work creating a sense of a 
class system? That would certainly not be recommended for families-our time is 
equally important. 
But it doesn’t seem to bother you all that much? You who do contribute probably 
have some fun?
Enforcement- yes a problem. If it were me, I’d want people to an agreement when 
coming in (not uncommon practice in couples therapy) but I imagine it would 
make membership recruitment harder.
Kathleen

> On Jan 4, 2023, at 11:46 AM, Joyce Cheney <jcheneyjc [at] gmail.com> wrote:
> 
> The wonderful, dedicated idealists who started our community created, a 
> structure where work is not REQUIRED. They created a structure where work was 
> not even EXPECTED in an “unwritten-rule way.” Work participation WAS ASSUMED 
> in the sense that everybody would just want to work together wouldn’t they?? 
> 20 years later, we HOPE that people will work to support and be part of the 
> community, but there’s still has no requirement or even expectation. We 
> invite and encourage people to participate; that’s it. 
> We understand that condo associations can’t require work legally, but some of 
> us (not all!) believe that not even having an expectation of work is a major 
> flaw in our cohousing design. From @55 madult residents, the same 15 people 
> do most everything. Several adults’ participation is zero. 
> We read of some cohousing communities that require 4-10 hrs of work per month 
> - or hefty amounts of pay per hr ($35-40)  - and wonder how they can do that 
> legally, and wonder who the collection police are!
> Beyond those tough logistics, that sounds 
> Fair. 
> Note:  I am speaking for myself, not for the cohousing Community, in which I 
> live. 
> Our community move-in was 20 years ago; I’ve been here six.. Jc
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone
> 
>> On Jan 4, 2023, at 7:41 AM, Kathleen Lowry <kathleenlowrylpcclmft [at] 
>> gmail.com> wrote:
>> 
>> Hi Ed and others: To repeat  my lost email and  comment: (My apologies.)
>> 
>> I am a deeply and broadly  trained couples and family therapist who follows 
>> in part the work of Alfred Adler (equal in importance to Freud and Jung). 
>> Adler’s emphasis was on community, families and parenting. He said teaching 
>> cooperation and social interest is the  primary parenting role, and primary 
>> predictors of mental health.
>> 
>> Adler also famously said: “ There is harmony only among equals. “
>> 
>> We aren’t in my view born “sinful”but most of us have to be carefully taught 
>> by caregivers or others to cooperate and pitch in.
>> 
>> Equality of time and effort is considered essential to a happy partnership 
>> and healthy families, that is, equality of play time, self-care time etc. 
>> and contribution time. For example, kids contribute by doing what they are 
>> capable of, (by age 4 or younger they can load the clothes washer) and 
>> grandparents might contribute by representing the family as a reading tutor 
>> in a school setting. 
>> 
>> Adler also said “spoiled children grow into angry adults” so even those not 
>> expected to contribute equally become resentful (and inevitably less 
>> respected) as well. (Very possibly not consciously.)
>> 
>> This is rich ground for growth in couples and families. 
>> 
>> For example, food coops have been good examples of the Little Red Hen 
>> philosophy. 
>> 
>> I’d love to hear what various  communities are doing in this regard (sense 
>> of equality) and how it’s working-how it affects the community spirit and 
>> experience of trust and joy in community. 
>> 
>> For all I know the above re Adler doesn’t apply to communities at all. 
>> Thanks. 
>> Kathleen
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>>>> On Jan 4, 2023, at 6:11 AM, Ed Sutton via Cohousing-L <cohousing-l [at] 
>>>> cohousing.org> wrote:
>>> 
>>> Eno Commons’ founding principles include “voluntary participation,” i.e. 
>>> no one is required to participate in the work of caring for the community, 
>>> and there is no penalty for non-participation.
>>> 
>>> Our low HOA dues were established with an assumption of a high level of 
>>> resident care work.The small group of neighbors who are struggling to care 
>>> for common property are questioning the wisdom of continuing this 
>>> arrangement. 
>>> 
>>> Are there any other co-housing communities successfully operating after 25 
>>> years of laissez-faire resident participation?
>>> 
>>> Ed Sutton
>>> Eno Commons
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