Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Voluntary Community Participation?

[Elizabeth Magill (pastorlizm]

I'm pretty opinionated on this topic.

This problem has two components:
the interpersonal and the systemic.

On the interpersonal level individuals who are doing more than their
fair share need to stop doing that. If an individual finds themselves
feeling resentful, they need to less work, or only do work they love,
or ask individuals who appear to be doing less to do a task that they
see needs to be done.
The only person you can change is yourself.

On a systemic level a community can work to change their stated values
from "work if you can" to "everyone contributes". Just know that the
communities that have the value "everyone contributes" also struggle
with unequal contributions. Fixing the system doesn't actually make
non-contributers begin to take on tasks. Because the only person you
can change is yourself.

I expect that what you need is enough of a crisis that your community
can come to agreement that something must change. As long as
individuals continue to over-function you won't have that crisis, and
the under-functioning households won't even know that there is a
problem.

We had enough of a crisis with building repairs that we agreed to hire
a maintenance person and rework our building and grounds team. But not
till the crisis affected a significant portion of the community.

I will note that when we went around and asked folk how they
contribute, most people had something that they believed they were
doing for the good of the community that others either didn't believe
were real things needed, or didn't see that it was happening.
The people who complained that others weren't engaging (I am in this
group) really meant "be on teams/circles" and "do the work of
teams/circles."
We don't/didn't count the things people do like being parent on duty
for a neighbors kids, opening the door for the neighbors
repair-person, or bulk buying flour for the bread making neighbors.

-Liz
(The Rev. Dr.) Elizabeth Mae Magill
Pastor, Ashburnham Community Church
Minister to the Affiliates, Ecclesia Ministries
www.elizabethmaemagill.com
508-450-0431

On Thu, Jan 5, 2023 at 8:31 AM Kathleen Lowry
<kathleenlowrylpcclmft [at] gmail.com> wrote:
>
> Thank you all for your openness about the issue of participation. I was in a 
> COVID daily dinner pod that developed in an apartment complex for 1.5 years. 
> Since a few of us were therapists we talked openly about participation with 
> the whole group. Some examples of how people felt they contributed were “not 
> complaining” “keeping to myself” “being funny” “ having good ideas for food 
> or movies” “having low expectations.”
> It became a problem  for those who saw time and effort (acts of service in 
> love language terms) as the important contribution.
>  What to do? :) Kathleen
>
> > On Jan 5, 2023, at 6:17 AM, Lisa Kuntz <lisa.kuntz [at] 
> > daybreakcohousing.org> wrote:
> >
> > Participation is a fraught topic in almost every coho community, so
> > workshops are offered at most National Coho Conferences.
> >
> > The founding principle of "no one is required to work" sounds like an
> > invitation to a free ride, not encouragement to actively  engage and
> > participate.  If new members arrive with the expectation that participation
> > is optional, they may not realize that their efforts have a monetary value
> > as well as social value.  They may not see the connection between enjoying
> > low HOA fees and the voluntary participation that makes them possible. They
> > may not be aware that a self-managed community requires an investment in
> > the welfare of the community and that there are consequences for the
> > physical and social structure of the community when they choose to not
> > participate or engage.
> >
> > In my community, that is very clear about the "rewards and responsibilities
> > of living in cohousing", we have a core of members that works very hard to
> > keep our community thriving at all levels.  What we do about
> > non-participation or minimal participation is a hot topic. We have a
> > suggested range of volunteer hours; some of us give far more, some far too
> > little. We are fortunate that wonderful new members are moving in who
> > sought out cohousing, understand what it means to be in a self-managed
> > community, and that the rewards and connections of cohousing are the
> > outcome of active participation.
> >
> > I look forward to other replies!
> >
> > Lisa Kuntz
> > Daybreak Cohousing
> > Portland OR
> >
> >
> >
> >> On Wed, Jan 4, 2023 at 4:11 AM Ed Sutton via Cohousing-L <
> >> cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org> wrote:
> >>
> >> Eno Commons’ founding principles include “voluntary participation,” i.e.
> >> no one is required to participate in the work of caring for the community,
> >> and there is no penalty for non-participation.
> >>
> >> Our low HOA dues were established with an assumption of a high level of
> >> resident care work.The small group of neighbors who are struggling to care
> >> for common property are questioning the wisdom of continuing this
> >> arrangement.
> >>
> >> Are there any other co-housing communities successfully operating after 25
> >> years of laissez-faire resident participation?
> >>
> >> Ed Sutton
> >> Eno Commons
> >> _________________________________________________________________
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> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
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