Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Attitudes Toward Diversity Training [ was Sharon's Nonsense

[Sharon Villines (sharon]

> On Feb 27, 2023, at 7:20 AM, Crystal Farmer <crystalbyrdfarmer [at] 
> gmail.com> wrote:
> 
> It's really unfortunate that you felt the need to use another Black
> person's words against the people who are sharing their opinions in this
> thread.

It was certainly not my intention to weaponize the words of a Black person. I 
found her expression of her hurt and confusion on this topic to be an 
intelligent counterbalance to the belief that sensitivity training is what will 
make a difference. 

Obviously, sensitivity training as contributing to awareness and education is 
invaluable. And it has been helpful in many, many situations. But the other 
side of that coin is that it has become a $3.4+ billion business, which means 
also that one should beware. As in other areas where perfectly intelligent 
teaching materials have become whitewashed and riddled with inaccuracies when 
corporations begin printing them, this is likely to be happening with diversity 
training materials as well. 

What Crystal is teaching is her own experience and from what I have read is 
excellent — I would encourage everyone to read her book and/or take her 
workshop. 

I am not denying anything that some people of color have said about feeling 
hurt and rejected by what some people, including myself, have said in some 
context of cohousing. A controlled study would also reveal many people 
considered white to have felt hurt and rejected from things said in the context 
of cohousing. 

One doesn’t prove or disprove the other, but both exist. 

I believe cohousing should try to address the concerns of people of color and 
encourage everyone to live in cohousing or comparable community-oriented 
settings. But I don’t believe that cohousing and cohousers should beat 
themselves up for not having overcome all the characteristics of the dominant 
culture. Cohousing has brought radical changes not only by building cohousing 
communities but influencing the culture of condominiums all over the US if not 
the world. It has proven that it can be done and has value. 

And at least some people of color are happily living in cohousing communities 
and helping to build others. 

One thing I’ve been wondering — was it a mistake to emphasize the importance of 
“diversity” in cohousing to the extent of not encouraging communities with a 
special focus for the first decades of the movement? Today there are 
communities that emphasize religious practices that are apparently as 
successful as others. They seem to have found a balance of not requiring strict 
adherence to a belief system but the desire to live according to the values of 
that faith or practice. 

Is it time to encourage communities of specific ethnic groups?

Sharon
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Sharon Villines
Takoma Village Cohousing, Washington DC
http://www.takomavillage.org