Cohousing-L Mailing List: Speaking Up

[Melanie G (gomelaniego]

>
> Sharon from your lips to the ears of the world!  Repressed feelings don't
> just sap our energy, they actually CREATE illness in our bodies.  In fact,
> with so many of us walking around being repeatedly told to "be nice", we
> are trying to function within ill systems that keep many, if not most of us
> from being able to heal.  I wonder if maybe practice could help us see that
> speaking up can also be kind ...


Of course this is only my opinion.  But I base it on my own experience of
so many places and times when I tried repeatedly to speak up, and was
vilified and hated as a result.  And I do see it happening to pretty much
everyone else who dares to speak up about things that others would prefer
to ignore, especially anger and fear (same really).

I would love to help organize a speaking up practice party not just in
cohousing, but everywhere!  What stops us?  Speaking up maybe?  Courage (ie
vulnerability) is just not recognized much anymore.

thanks for speaking up Sharon!


> > On Sep 12, 2023, at 11:12 PM, Elizabeth Magill <pastorlizm [at] gmail.com>
> wrote:
>
> > But one thing I know about my community is that people are really
> > reticent to tell people they are upset that you don't follow the
> > rules. So maybe lots of people talk about the way I never follow this
> > agreement.
>
> I wish we had practice parties for people to play with the idea of
> speaking up. Just practice saying how you feel or what you think. Maybe if
> we could get people to speak up about non-threatening topics like ? I
> couldn?t think of one that someone wouldn?t believe was the cause of all
> evil.
>
> Maybe debating teams on hot topics like dirty dishes and what to do about
> them if anything at all.
>
> My friend Steve was walking across the common house one day when I was
> angry about something. He said he was angry about it too.
>
> I said, ?But you never get angry. You are always so relaxed and walking
> around smiling."
>
> He said, "Me! I?m always angry. I?m angry all day. I use all my energy to
> calm myself down. That?s why I smile. So I won?t look angry.?
>
> I think we need to talk about what makes us angry, then everyone would
> have more energy.
>
> Sharon
> ----
> Sharon Villines
> Takoma Village Cohousing, Washington DC
> http://www.takomavillage.org
>
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