Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Experience with mediators?

[Alan O'Hashi (adoecos]

Anne - My Myers Briggs game is part of a workshop I adapt to for specified 
situations/audiences. My experience is that conflicts are generally bullies 
(introvert or extrovert) who push around an introvert/s/. I have assisted 
various communities around the country with conflict diagnostics, facilitation 
tips, consensus (not sociocracy), diversity, etc. I provide communities, mostly 
forming ones, guidance for no charge.

Thx and good luck!

Alan O.

Alan O'Hashi 
 Libby Flats by Alan O'HashiThe Longest journeys lead back to 
yourselfhttps://bouldercomedia.com/
..303-910-5782....307-316-2113.. 

    On Wednesday, January 8, 2025 at 02:59:09 PM MST, Anne Geraghty <abgwalks 
[at] gmail.com> wrote:  
 
 Hi AlanWhat is the Myers Briggs game that you use?Anne GeraghtyWashington 
Commons, West Sacramento

On Wed, Jan 8, 2025 at 4:16 AM Alan O'Hashi via Cohousing-L <cohousing-l [at] 
cohousing.org> wrote:

Sounds like your two members need NV therapy. You’re lucky you discovered your 
problem early. At my place we’ve had ongoing power and control issues involving 
a few people that festered to the point that members felt unsafe and 
participation dropped.


We convened a series of sharing circles after one blow up late last year which 
in my view have had limited utility on the whole, but a few of the problem 
people have recognized their foibles and taking personal action. Generally 
speaking, people don’t like to be called on their sh!t, especially people who 
have gone through life being in control. That doesn’t work in a consensus 
community.


My suggestion to burning souls is to be very precise about your community story 
so you’ll attract the people you want. you’re only seeking 30 or so households, 
not 300. The only time a community can self select members is upon formation. 
My other suggestion is to get to know people early in the process while folks 
are relative strangers. 


Most everyone will get along at a high level - book reading, taking walks, 
going to coffee. In cohousing residents are part of a team and not a bunch of 
individuals who have to share leadership and power and not hoard it like in the 
outside world.


i use a Myers Briggs game. Writing this is a reminder that i should dust that 
exercise off since my place has a few new people.


Good luck helping to reimagine Superman’s American Way!


thx


alan o



Alan O'Hashi - Cyber Office
Watch for “Views from Beyond Metropolis” at a bookstore near you
www.bouldercomedia.com/buy-retail
… Colorado..303-910-5782
… Wyoming. 307-316-2113

> On Jan 8, 2025, at 4:16 AM, cohousing-l-request [at] cohousing.org wrote:
> 
> [C-L]_ Experience with mediators?

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