Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Child Custody Cases in Cohousing

[Pare Gerou (paregerou]

Hi Claire,

It sounds like a very difficult situation.

I’m not sure exactly what you mean by being a “witness” in this case—unless
there has been a specific incident or injury, which would take this to
another level. I also don’t know if your particular community is somehow
atypical and has children playing where no one can see them.

However, in general- you might consider submitting an affidavit from your
cohousing architect, describing the design features that ensure lines of
sight from multiple neighboring homes to shared play areas, as well as
other built-in aspects that support child safety and communal awareness.

Affidavits from parents in the community could also be powerful. They can
speak to the ways the cohousing model fosters informal supervision, trusted
relationships, and an environment where children feel supported—not
isolated. This kind of testimony can directly support the “best interests
of the child” standard that’s central in custody decisions.

On a less legal note, I’ve encountered several amazing families in
cohousing who, even after divorcing, both remained in the community in
separate homes. While it may be rare, it exists, and it’s worth noting how
cohousing has supported healthier post-divorce arrangements—giving children
stability, continuity, and access to both parents in a familiar setting.

If someone in your community is artful, perhaps attempting to connect the
parent leveling the complaint with parents who’ve successfully navigated
divorced in cohousing setting might provide role models for the divorcing
parents.  And if there is another home available, it also might redirect
the complaining parent to think about cohousing as a way to  get more
access to the children more easily - which may be what is driving this
complaint.

-Pare Gerou

On Sun, Aug 3, 2025 at 12:30 AM Claire Richards <clairerichardsrn [at] 
gmail.com>
wrote:

> Greetings,
>
> I am a witness in a child custody case where one party is trying to take
> the children by arguing that cohousing is unsafe for children because we
> allow them to run around "unsupervised", even though parental practices in
> the community are not at all uniform.
> I wonder if anyone else has experienced a situation like this and if they
> might be open to sharing how they addressed this.
>
> Thank you,
> Claire
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