Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Families with kids

[Ann Lehman (ann]

Thank you, Mac!… This is wonderful, and I'm envious; I wish I could have had 
this experience! I will watch the video.

> On Jul 6, 2026, at 3:55 PM, Mac Thomson via Cohousing-L <cohousing-l [at] 
> cohousing.org> wrote:
> 
> ’m biased, but I think our community (Heartwood Cohousing, SW Colorado) is an 
> amazing place to raise kids. I’ve lived here for 26 years and when asked 
> about my experience living here, I generally say that it’s a great place for 
> adults, but with some trade-offs and aggravations, but for kids, it’s all 
> good. Maybe the single best thing for me about living here has been being 
> able to raise our 3 kids here.
> 
> Here’s an entry in our FAQ:
> 
>> What's it like having kids at Heartwood?
>> Our children live an especially charmed life. Because our neighborhood is a 
>> car-free zone and is situated within 350 acres of open space, it’s an 
>> incredibly safe place for children to roam, play, explore, and connect with 
>> their friends. There’s no need to set up play dates here. The kids have the 
>> freedom to go out and play with their friends.
>> 
>> As with all neighborhoods, there's a natural ebb and flow in terms of the 
>> number of kids living at Heartwood. In the past, we had 25 or more kids 
>> living here, but they have grown up and moved on so now we have fewer kids. 
>> Recently we've had several families with young children move in so we're 
>> seeing the tide turn. With the addition of Phase 2, we hope to bring in even 
>> more families with kids. We place a high value on supporting a 
>> multigenerational community. 
>> 
>> Unlike a typical school setting where kids tend to only interact with kids 
>> their own age and gender, here at Heartwood there seems to be more 
>> interactions amongst boys and girls of different ages. Maybe it’s because 
>> having grown up together, the kids here are so close to each other that 
>> they’re almost likes brothers, sisters, or cousins. Maybe it’s because when 
>> a game of freeze tag gets going on a summer evening on the S.S. Ponderosa 
>> (our play structure in the Village Green), all the kids just naturally join 
>> in. Whatever the reason, the mixing of ages and genders is a good thing. It 
>> gives the kids a chance to assume many different roles: sometimes the 
>> leader, sometimes the follower; sometimes the one with the scraped knee, 
>> sometimes the caregiver.
>> 
>> Our children also get to interact with many more adults than is typical. 
>> They know that they can trust all of the adults here and can go to any one 
>> of them for help or comforting. In essence, they enjoy a village of extended 
>> family with many aunts, uncles, grandmas, and grandpas.
>> 
>> All of those other adults within easy walking distance takes a lot of 
>> pressure off of us parents. We don’t have to be all things to our children. 
>> Our kids can learn to build a birdhouse with Eric or have a conversation 
>> about dating with Beth. They grow up with the benefit of many more life 
>> perspectives and a broader view of the world.
>> 
>> There’s also a very strong informal network of mutual parenting support. We 
>> have no formal shared parenting. Parents are free to raise their kids as 
>> they see fit. In practice, however, parents help each other out a lot. When 
>> the kids are little, it’s very common for parents to watch each other’s 
>> kids. When the kids get a little older, one parent will arrange with another 
>> to be the kid’s 'check-in', which simply means that the child is on their 
>> own, but they know that there’s a specific adult whom they know and trust 
>> that is at home and available to help them if they need it. Parents who are 
>> new to Heartwood are sometimes reluctant to allow their children so much 
>> freedom, but quickly realize just what a safe and nurturing environment it 
>> is here and loosen up and enjoy the benefits of our mutual parenting support 
>> for themselves and for their children.
>> 
>> We have created a lot of amenities for the kids. There’s the big play 
>> structure in the Village Green, the S.S. Ponderosa, the Village Green itself 
>> for yard games, a basketball court, a tennis court, a pickleball court, a 
>> sledding hill, 7 miles of bike trails, and ping pong and foosball at the 
>> common house. And of course there’s the natural world to explore that comes 
>> with life in the country: forests, fields, pastures, ponds, hills, ravines, 
>> trees, and boulders. What we don’t have are a lot of television and video 
>> games. While some of that certainly happens, most parents here limit those 
>> activities so kids end up spending more time outside and with friends than 
>> they do in front of a screen.
>> 
>> You might also find this video helpful:
>>      • Cohousing Families: Raising Children in Community
>>          A 13 minute video filmed at Forgebank, Lancaster Cohousing.
> 
> 
> -- 
> Mac Thomson
> 
> Heartwood Cohousing
> Southwest Colorado
> http://www.heartwoodcohousing.co <http://www.heartwoodcohousing.com/>