Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Children in Community

[Katherine Lavine (1stkathee]

Bikes left blocking the path (tripping hazard), kids climbing on counters or 
other places deemed unsafe (or unhygenic), running thru common house during 
meals at high volume, and the difficult-to-untangle “lack of respect” when 
spoken to. Tip of the iceberg topics. 

We made an attempt to establish norms for the common house that would involve 
kids and adults equally , but some parents were not in favor. There are 
(understandably) different parenting styles and norms amongst our families. Not 
a unified front, which makes agreements challenging.

There are expectations from some older members that parents should keep their 
kids “in check”. Many feel unskilled in giving kids direct feedback. 

We believe “connecting before correcting” is important and attempted to use 
time in general meetings for educational minutes to facilitate multi gen 
understanding, but found it difficult to find good info to share and not 
burnout the organizers of that idea. Would love ideas for that kind of thing. 
Not just how to talk to the kids, but also understanding all age groups needs. 

Katherine Lavine 




> On Aug 1, 2026, at 3:15 PM, Buzz Harris via Cohousing-L <cohousing-l [at] 
> cohousing.org> wrote:
> 
>  Hi Katherine.
> 
> What are the specific issues that are generating conflict, if you don't mind 
> sharing that?
> 
> Thanks,
> 
> Buzz
> Mosaic Commons Cohousing
> Berlin, MA
> 
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 
> Buzz Harris
> 
> 
> What used to be called liberal is now called radical,
> What used to be called radical is now called insane,
> What used to be called reactionary is now called moderate, and
> What used to be called insane is now called solid conservative thinking.
> 
> -Tony Kushner
> 
> 
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 
> 
>     On Saturday, August 1, 2026 at 05:01:57 PM EDT, Katherine via Cohousing-L 
> <cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org> wrote:  
> 
> We are looking for helpful resources regarding growing our ability to 
> navigate a “multi-gen” community.
> 
> We are currently exploring ways to reduce friction between older adults and 
> our free range children. It’s a Common problem, we know. (One of the three 
> Ps- parking, pets and parenting)
> 
> What has your community found to be useful  to widen understanding and 
> promote peaceful coexistence amidst differing needs?
> 
> Thanks in advance.
> 
> Katherine Lavine
> 
> 
> 
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