Cohousing-L Mailing List: written rules/leaving/mediators

[Judy (BAXTER%EPIHUB]

Tue, 30 Aug 1994 , Gareth Fenley (Atlanta) wrote:

I still love the idea of Cohousing but it  appears likely that I will withdraw
from the Lake Claire Cohousing  Partnership next week.  The group agreed to
bring in a mediator for the next meeting, but because  one member blocked
consensus on authorizing any kind of payment, we are  restricted to seeking
someone who will do it for free, and i hear one has  not been found.  I hope
that a mediator will attend because i think it  would help us out a lot.
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Some relevant experience - about 6-8 months after we moved in to Monterey
Cohousing, we had a big issue come up - lots of tension - people talking of
needing to leave -the community not feeling safe - etc.  We brought in a
mediator and paid by donation, to avoid just the problem you describe. 
Actually, I think everyone contributed something, some much more than others.
We had a group of 25-30 individuals - paid $100/hr or so, wound up with i think
3 2-hour sessions, all told, over a period of weeks, and it was well worth it.  

As a former divorce mediator, I can tell you that dealing with a group that
large is a huge challenge.  One other person I talked with (who works with
organizations all the time) said he would never tackle it alone, and certainly
I wouldn't  (I also wouldn't take a group I was part of).  

It turned out the key piece was getting people to say stuff they had been
sitting on, and be able to deal with it.  

So, IMHO, it's worth spending some money, and donations can be easier.

Judy
Judy Baxter, Monterey Cohousing Community, (MoCoCo)
Twin Cities Area, Minneapolis/St.Paul Minnesota
e-mail: baxter [at] epivax.epi.umn.edu