Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: ROMANTICIZING COHOUSING

[Bitner/Stevenson (lilbert]

> 
>   I have great dreams of living in cohousing someday with my husband.
> But from the comments I have heard on this list, I am now feeling fear of
> being rejected by my neighbors because we are poly.  I'm also bisexual --
> and yet I was never worried about being rejected because of that
> characteristic, because I knew that people in cohousing respected people
> as individuals; that nondiscrimination was a core value of cohousing.

Cohousing communities are not homogeneous. Lots of people are interested who
are not involved in their local group for various reasons. My sister was
interested in a group near her and found them really lame and disorganized.
She didn't join. Several people on this list have been involved in more than
one community, because the one they were in didn't meet their needs in some
way.

I see no reason for you to despair of finding and living in cohousing. There
are people who have strong feelings about everything. Some groups will be
much more open to you than others. Find your group, or create it. The fact
is, polyamory is "not ready for prime time" in the way that homosexualtiy
and bisexuality are. It will happen, but until then you are going to have to
make a space for yourself and your loved ones, and educate people about who
you are. Like it or not, you are a pioneer, and yes, it will be harder for
you. Will it be any easier outside of cohousing? I don't think so.

--
Liz Stevenson
Southside Park Cohousing
Sacramento, California