Re: ROMANTICIZING COHOUSING | <– Date –> <– Thread –> |
From: Marci and Tom (sodanceemail.msn.com) | |
Date: Thu, 21 Oct 1999 20:17:15 -0600 (MDT) |
Tom Whitmore here; I usually don't respond to things here but I think it's important to speak out and say that my experience says that many cohousing groups are glad to accept polyamory in theory, but I haven't seen a lot of acceptance in practice. This is one thing that led friends of mine in Mpls to move on to other approaches. And yet, I hope people here could accept this lifestyle as practical and a lot of work, one which is made easier by the support of a community -- like raising children, it takes a village to make a relationship. Those who don't think so have probably never tried to go against the dominant paradigm. Polyamory is more work than monogamy, indeed (as one who's tried both). And it's made even harder by people who think that the polyamorous are different. I think this is a very relevant discussion for this list -- _pace_ Christina Della Maggiora, this is definitely a place to discuss what might make us uncomfortable about living in community with others. I'm not out about my polyamorous desires within my cohousing group, partly because I'm not acting on them at the moment and I don't feel the community wants to deal with it as a theoretical problem. I know a great many of my neighbors would be comfortable with me talking about it, but I believe others wouldn't. And that means I end up hiding it from some of them, because I don't see the value in fighting that fight right now. If I were bringing someone home on a regular basis, it would be different. And why, pray tell, are those who are (responsibly) promiscuous not acceptable? And how do you define "promiscuous"? Anyone who sleeps with more people than you do? Cheers, Tom
- Re: ROMANTICIZING COHOUSING, (continued)
- Re: ROMANTICIZING COHOUSING Maggi Rohde, October 21 1999
- Re: ROMANTICIZING COHOUSING administration, October 21 1999
- Re: ROMANTICIZING COHOUSING Jennifer S. Stevens, October 21 1999
- Re: ROMANTICIZING COHOUSING Bitner/Stevenson, October 21 1999
- Re: ROMANTICIZING COHOUSING Marci and Tom, October 21 1999
- Re: ROMANTICIZING COHOUSING Joshua, October 22 1999
- Re: ROMANTICIZING COHOUSING DHCano, October 22 1999
- Re: ROMANTICIZING COHOUSING AliHine, October 22 1999
- Re: ROMANTICIZING COHOUSING Deb Smyre, October 22 1999
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