Cohousing-L Mailing List: coffee shop community??

[John Greene, Nancy Lowe (greenelowe]

        I find this thread pretty interesting, both because I've spent a
lot of time in coffee shops and because it makes me realize something about
my coho expectations.  I'm a teacher and I constantly carry around stacks
of papers, and I found years ago that I could make myself concentrate much
better if I went out to a coffee shop or diner or whatever.  As Stuart
said, it gives you the feeling of having social contact, even if you're not
really.  It just makes you feel less isolated, and even though you're not
having much fun or having a conversation or anything, at least you're in
the vicinity of people who are.
        Living in cohousing (it's been three years now), I've never had the
time or energy to be heavily involved.  My wife and our four year-old have
been much more engaged in the community.  I find that after many intense
hours at school, I often don't have much need or ability to interact with
others when I get home, and thanks to that eternal stack of papers, I don't
have much time, either.  So I haven't made real intimate connections, and
at times I've felt a bit guilty or inadequate or something because of that.

        But ultimately I don't really mind it, and what I've realized is
that it gives me something similar to the coffee shop experience -- though
not as superficial as that, of course.  I mean, I'm much more connected to
my coho brethren than to anyone in my paper-grading haunts.  But it's
usually enough for me just to have them *around*.  I like just being in the
vicinity of so many other people whom I know well, even when I'm not
interacting much.  I like the feeling and the village atmosphere, and most
of the time, that atmosphere is enough for me.  I like the sights and
sounds of our community outside the window, even when I don't really want
to go out and actively engage.  It's a much more shallow kind of community,
I suppose, than what others want.  But it's enough for me right now, and
probably all I can handle.
        I wonder if many others experience cohousing in the same way.  I
would guess so.


JOHN GREENE
Lake Claire Coho
Atlanta, GA