Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: When world(view)s collide

[Denise Meier (neesie]

Howard:

I'm curious if the Group 1 people are mostly parents and the Group 2 people
are mostly either non-parents or what we at Two Acre Wood call "NCP's" (Not
Currently Parenting, i.e. parents of adult children).

We have had similar issues come up between our prevailing current parenting
values of child-centered activities, attachment parenting, etc, and the
attitudes of people who parented and/or were parented in a different era...the
NCP's being asked to deal with the demands/needs of parents who are doing
things differently, while not always understanding or agreeing with those new
ways.

Sounds like you know what needs to be done - your message says that group 2
has not really listened to group 1, and that group 1 has failed to gather
consensus on the actual existence of a problem. Certainly it sounds to me like
a sharing circle of some sort, where the goal is NOT to solve the problem but
to make sure everyone feels heard, would be an excellent first step. We have
repeatedly found that just being heard has moved people through very
emotionally-laden conflicts that seemed at the outset to be insoluble.

We parents have also once or twice simply done with our own money and energy
(with permission) something we really wanted for the kids, that the whole
community was not willing to commit to.

Denise Meier
Two Acre Wood
Sebastopol, California



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