Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Teens need "A room of their own"

[S. Hamer (shamer_]

>  So, why are people going after the teens? - I guess it's because
>  at least some teens are saying aloud that they don't want 
>  grownups around!  (Yet, most grownups think it's ok for them to
>  have blocks of time when they don't want to have kids around)..

I think it's fine if teens don't want grownups around at times. It sounds as
if you are saying that teens should be treated the same as adults, but I
don't see teens or children as having the same rights as grownups, primarily
because they don't have the same responsibility as grownups. 
>  
>  IMO it's *essential* for teens to have a private space, away from
>  the constant scrutiny and criticism of adults.  Where they can
>  play loud music; watch TV if they want to; use the internet if
>  they want to; do mostly anything they wish, as long as it doesn't 
>  involve abusive behavior towards anybody. It's not only good 
>  for the teens, it's good for the adults. 
>  One more point: If teens aren't given some freedom at
>  home, they'll seek it elsewhere.  This means (in all likelihood) that 
>  they'll travel somewhere in someone's car.  This someone, most likely,
>  will be another teenager...

This, I suppose, depends on where you live. In the city, where we live, most
teens don't have cars, so spending time there wouldn't happen as a rule. But
I do think teens need the almost constant scrutiny of adults. Lets think
back...I know I thought I was pretty mature at 14, 15, 18, 19. But now, at
48, I realize how inexperienced I was, and how many bullets I dodged. I
don't want to overprotect my kids, but I also don't want to send them out to
dodge the many more bullets that there are today. They are, after all, still
children, even at 14, 15, 16. 

I realize my viewpoint is at odds with most of my fellow anti-authoritarian
60's veterans, but it is how I think. I think our generation has a real
problem BEING the authority, and our kids are paying the price for it.  

Sharon Hamer
shamer_ [at] excite.com
Cambridge Cohousing
CAmbridge, MA





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