Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Integrating middle-aged kids into community

[Dahako (Dahako]

Hi-

I have two kids, 10 and 13, and we moved two years ago (out of cohousing and 
into a new city, new schools).  They hated the move, me, their dad, and said 
so loudly and loooong.  Not to mention bad grades and lots of attitude.  (Same 
as most kids that age, but more so.)  This even though they really supported 
the reason for the move, which was because I got a chance to work on the grants 
rebuilding lower Manhattan.

Now, after two years of working with Eastern Village Cohousing in our new 
neighborhood, we are going to be moving back into cohousing next month (yay!!), 
joining the ranks of serial cohousers.  My kids have been a great help getting 
the other older and younger kids in the neighborhood to look forward to the 
move. They are also working on convincing the grown ups that sharing a very 
urban community with teens and pre-teens won't be so bad. My 13 year old is 
already on one of the committees (Kids R Us) where she helped come up with some 
of 
the kid policies - and she went to the community business meeting to help field 
questions on the policy from a kid perspective.

Based on their experiences, my kids have some suggestions.  My kids say to 
take your kids to visit the cohousing next door (where there are kids their 
ages).  Let your kids join in some of their activities and get to know them.  
They 
also say for you to get out of the way (sorry, it's a quote.)   They also 
suggest scheduling some visits for your kids to go back to see their old 
friends 
and get them on the calendar before you move.  And they say being able to 
email their old friends really helped their transition. They say your kids will 
eventually bond with the cohousing kids and it will all be good. 

Good fortune to you all.  Let us know how it goes.

Jessie Handforth Kome
Eastern Village Cohousing
Silver Spring, Maryland
Where home inspections are starting and members will start moving in within 
weeks!  It takes so long and then everything goes zoom zoom!  52 of 56 units 
are sold. www.easternvillage.org