Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Integrating middle-aged kids into community

[psychling (psychling]

Shelley ...

I'm a child psychologist and I support everything everybody else has stated ... 
and I'll add one thing: get used to "this sucks."  :-)  

Keep in mind that when kids say: "I'm bored.  There's nothin' t'do."  What they 
really mean is:  "Thanks Mom and Dad for providing me with a stable, 
supportive, loving and predictable place to grow up in."  When I hear: "I'm 
bored" or "This sucks" it means the parents are doing their job.  

- Dan





-------------- Original message from "Shelly DeMeo" : -------------- 

> Hi-- 
> 
> My husband and I are finally moving into Rocky Hill Cohousing in Northampton, 
> Mass. in July. Well, that is the date they say is our move in at this point. 
> 
> Like many other cohousers, I became interested in this as much for my 
> children 
> as for myself. Developing cohousing has taken time and my children have aged 
> considerably in the process. Now that the home is almost complete, at ages 9 
> and 11, they have decided they do not want to move. The community is about an 
> hour away so requires a change in schools as well. We also have a newborn 
> (good 
> family planning!) and she has no problem with the move. Needless to say this 
> is 
> a bit stressful for us. 
> 
> Have others found ways to help ease their children's transition into 
> cohousing? 
> There are many children in this community although my two boys are on the 
> older 
> side of the spectrum. My boys have stated, "there are too many babies." There 
> is a cohousing development next door, as well, and they do have several 
> mid-range age children. I have been told that the kids roam in packs there 
> and 
> it would be fine once we get there. 
> 
> Any input on middle-aged kids in cohousing would be helpful, either positive 
> or 
> negative. We are twenty-eight units on around 30 acres with a neighboring 
> cohousing development next door, across a sports field. With all the stresses 
> in our life at the moment, the last thing I want to hear from my older boys 
> is 
> "this sucks" daily... 
> 
> Thanks for input. 
> 
> Shelly DeMeo 
> Rocky Hill Cohousing 
> 
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