Cohousing-L Mailing List: RE: Concerning Consensus and established CoHo communities

[Rob Sandelin (floriferous]

I would strongly disagree that dealing with lawyers is any way to deal with
situations described. If your goal is to be a community, then you need to
focus on how to do that. I can say with some confidence that lawyers and
rules will not make a community of caring people.

Rob Sandelin 

-----Original Message-----
From: Sharon Villines [mailto:sharon [at] sharonvillines.com] 
Sent: Monday, March 14, 2005 7:14 AM
To: Cohousing-L
Subject: Re: [C-L]_ Concerning Consensus and established CoHo communities

> From: normangauss [at] charter.net [mailto:normangauss [at] charter.net]
> Subject: Re: [C-L]_ Concerning Consensus and established CoHo 
> communities
>

> I would guess that until we decide on some goals, we will not be able 
> to have a sociocracy.

Another lister called yours a very sad story. I would say "Great! You now
have a lot to work with."

Everything you have mentioned as a problem -- people digging up common
elements, fencing in common elements, etc. happens in all condos. Lack of
agreements certainly happens in all cohousing communities. Do not despair.

When in doubt go back to square one. Everyone who moved in agreed to the
statements in the condo docs and in the Bylaws. What do they say? 
Who is on your board? What does your lawyer say?

Some one has to take leadership. Two or three people working together would
be good. I'm sure that many on the list would say that the three have to
have the support of the community (permission) to do anything but if that
were true we would all be living in caves.

"Leaders are people who have the power within themselves to recognize a need
and apply imagination and intelligence to implement a solution. 
They develop whatever skills are necessary and work collectively with others
to implement solutions."

This is a situation made for a leader! Nothing breeds success like success.
Once you get forward movement, people will relax and you can begin building
a consensus around some things. People will also relax if a leader steps
forward and assures each person that they will work to satisfy as many of
the personal needs as possible. One way or another it can be done. Many of
these perceived needs will fall away in the process.

Remember the word "temporary" -- for now it sounds like you very much need a
temporary dog run, a temporary garden, and a temporary playground. I would
suggest setting these up asap and short of armed guards, insist that they
stay put even if only one household is using them.

I think it is also typical that a year after move-in everyone is just
exhausted and angry about something. No move every lives up its billing. No
one can accomplish everything they want to accomplish. This is an inevitable
let down. Just don't despair. It will pick up again.

Sharon
---
Sharon Villines
Building Community: A Newsletter on Coops, Condos, Cohousing, and Other New
Neighborhoods http://www.buildingcommunitynews.org

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