Re: rules for participation
From: TandemWriters (
Date: Fri, 18 Mar 2005 07:12:48 -0800 (PST)
I understand how difficult it can be to have a personality that is best  
satisfied with a "go get'em" approach to life and then feel unappreciated when  
one notices how hard I've worked.  So many years ago now I decided to  keep 
my efforts evaluate myself and my efforts with blinders  on as 
much as possible when "working" with others.  For me giving has  become a 
endeavor.  To serve others is a big part of community to  me.  Do I enjoy 
appreciation, sure you bet and when it doesn't come I still  can turn to myself 
for reinforcement.
This may be analogous I'm not completely sure, but a few months ago we were  
stopped at a light when a homeless veteran was canvassing for money.  My  
daughter immediately starting scrambling for the change we keep to give out  
these circumstances.  She rolled down the window and proudly shared  the 
money with this person.  There have been occasions when other adults in  the 
have warned against this "giving" because it could be a scam or  they are just 
"bumming for money".  I explained that charity is a behavior  that begins and 
ends with the giving.  If it is a scam that  is for that person to take 
responsibility and bumming for money is NOT  an easy job particularly here in 
Giving in whatever forum begins and ends with yourself.  If your  giving 
becomes contaminated with worrying whether your getting the raw end of  the 
or not, then you've lost some of the innocence that comes with the  decision to 
serve others in the first place. Everyone gives from what they  consider to 
be their perceived strengths and always hope for some kind of  reinforcement.  
Appreciation can satisfy most  everyone.   If that happens to be all you have 
to give then give it  abundantly.  The best I think we can do is to provide 
opportunities for  people to participate and appreciate those that do everyday.
Dana Bennett
Soon to be in Sharingwood
Snohomish, WA

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