Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Contribute to cooking common meals

[Sharon Villines (sharon]

On Nov 29, 2006, at 10:24 AM, Chris ScottHanson wrote:

> If you have grass and it needs to be mown, you don't want everyone to
> participate in mowing the grass.  Same for boiler maintenance, or
> gutter repair.  Why should meals be any different?

When I moved into cohousing I felt the same way. Why can't some do the 
accounting and others do the landscaping, etc? All work is equal. It 
makes sense.

But the fact is that meals _are_ different. They are daily and time 
consuming, firstly. They are a lot of work -- more than any other if 
you want to produce 3-4 meals a week. No subgroup of people can produce 
meals in the same amount of time it takes to mow the lawn or keep the 
books.

Secondly they are leveling. Everyone can be equal in the kitchen. 
(Chefs may disagree!) Not everyone shines at being a meeting 
facilitator or being the one to resolve conflicts or even in gardening. 
But in the kitchen, there is something everyone can do and that is 
appreciated by everyone else. Everyone eats.

Thirdly, and perhaps more important, meals are interactive. Not all 
other work is. Meals require giving and receiving. Coordinating and 
collaborating. As such they are the only form of bonding that can 
involve the whole community. Without a meal program, and active 
participation, you have a very different kind of community. In our 
community we have a subgroup that does meals regularly and other 
members participate in meals occasionally but it would make a real 
difference if from the start we had said, everyone is in.

I don't participate in meals so I speak as a non-participator. Like 
other non-participators, I participated early on but found it 
unworkable. Because meal participation is not required, we have not 
confronted a lot of issues that we would have to confront if they were 
-- organic vs non-organic food, fresh vs canned. A variety of 
vegetables -- not just rice and green salad. Noise. Kids screaming. 
Meals served on time. A kitchen that works better in terms of supplies 
and design.

I would call meal program participation a filter, as well, that sends a 
message, "This isn't a traditional condo where speaking to your 
neighbors is optional."

Sharon
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Sharon Villines
Takoma Village Cohousing, Washington DC
http://www.takomavillage.org