Cohousing-L Mailing List: What is your common house for?

[Sharon Villines (sharon]

Along the lines of the last post asking about bylaws, I wanted to layout the 
many different assumptions about the intended purpose and use of the 
commonhouse that we discovered after we moved in.

We had not discussed use of the common house beyond an early charrette about 
what we wanted in it --laundry, kids room, exercise room, etc. After move-in we 
realized that we had each been making our own assumptions. I'm not suggesting 
that an agreement about the common house should be in your bylaws, but you 
might begin thinking about a written community agreement, which can be more 
easily changed.

I had taken it upon myself to straighten the CH everyday because I saw it as 
the heart of the community and I couldn't live with the mess. Part of that was 
Zen training to "leave no trace." People were leaving lots of traces. We still 
had many workmen on site and some of our residents were one step up from 
student dorm living -- they were either comfortable with animal house or 
expected janitorial service to wipe up the spilled coffee. 

One or more people believed that the common house, largely the big central 
room, was:

1. A source of income so condo fees would not be so high and the CH would pay 
for itself.

2. A hotel lobby where people met other people and is open to strangers sitting 
around waiting for them. A largely impersonal space but looking presentable at 
all times.

3. A place where people hung out and their stuff hung out. Anyone could add 
furniture, put hangings in the windows, paste signs on the walls and windows, 
rearrange the furniture, etc. Invite friends in to drink beer and kick back. A 
big college dorm room.

4. A distribution point for literature for very worthy cause that anyone in the 
community supported and a center for all these groups to meet. A community 
activist center. (In DC, this is a lot of groups.)

5. A center for therapy-like gatherings and events. Where the community came 
together to discuss and support each other in personal growth goals. These 
goals would be written down and posted on the wall. 

6. A great room like those in big Victorian homes where there was a fireplace, 
dining table, reading nooks, games, etc. Several seating areas. Cosy and rather 
quietly supporting parallel activities.

7. A gym-ike room where children could run around and yell, ride tricycles, 
play pingpong, loud music, etc. Raise all the hell they couldn't raise at home 
or in school. And without parental supervision.

I'm sure there were others and some of these could certainly coexist but the 
people most often only assumed one of them. Over time it sort of sorted itself 
out though trial and error, but it might have avoided a few hurt feelings if we 
had discussed such assumptions before move in.

Sharon
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Sharon Villines
Takoma Village Cohousing, Washington DC
http://www.takomavillage.org