Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Inappropriate Behavior

[Muriel Kranowski (murielk]

Virgil, have you personally called out a slacker in your coho community?
How did that go?

On Mon, Sep 6, 2021 at 4:33 PM Virgil Huston <virgil.huston1955 [at] gmail.com>
wrote:

> All these things are what happens all the time in social situations.
> Except maybe asking to borrow a car, but only because that may be a
> rare thing to need to ask for (although in poor communities, that and
> asking for rides happens all the time. People are never obligated to
> answer questions put to them and can say no to requests to borrow
> things. Many of the things you mention are how people have been
> getting to know each other since language was invented. And I see
> nothing wrong about calling out slackers LOL. The slacker may not like
> it.
>
> On Mon, Sep 6, 2021 at 2:30 PM Muriel Kranowski <murielk [at] vt.edu> wrote:
> >
> > Responding to these in increasing rank from totally innocuous to possibly
> > problematic:
> >
> > Asking to borrow a car for an important local trip. - very acceptable,
> and
> > the trip doesn't have to be that important
> >
> > Responding to email post that may not be directed to you but that you
> have
> > information about. -I don't think anyone would object to this.
> >
> > Asking question of neighbors pertaining to their health, work, community
> > involvement  or their family.- So, is it okay to ask nosy questions...
> > depends on the relationship, the situation, the context in which it's
> > asked, all of that. My husband just had serious surgery and EVERYONE is
> > asking about his health, and that feels good and supportive. But when I
> > knew a neighbor was out of work, I didn't want to keep bugging him with
> > "How's the job search going?" even though I was concerned about him.
> >
> > Mentioning to community members about their lack of participation around
> > tasks they have chosen or assigned.- Well, since we all know this is not
> an
> > easy conversation to have, we have a workshare position called Workshare
> > Tracker whom we authorize to have those conversations for us. You have to
> > have the right kind of person for this, and fortunately we do. Somehow
> this
> > question has a very privacy-invading vibe to it, even though it directly
> > affects the community.
> >
> >     Muriel at Shadowlake Village
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