Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Shared Meals

[Madeline Nelson (madilounelson]

My partner and I joined RoseWind in Port Townsend during the pandemic, with the 
common house essentially shut down. We restarted meals as potlucks in 2021, 
with covid variants again shutting meals down until September of 2022. When we 
restarted, we agreed to all do a rapid covid test before each all-community 
indoor event, added some cost flexibility for cooks ($6, $7 or $8 per person to 
cover non-pantry ingredients). We encouraged small households (with only 1 
person who cooks) to team up with other households or individuals on cooking. 
We also agreed that it is up to cooks whether they accommodate our varied 
special dietary restrictions (no garlic or onion, no gluten, no beans, no corn, 
no meat, etc).

While 20 to 30 people regularly attend the dinners, I’m saddened by the lack of 
lead cooks. Prepared dinners happen only once every 2 to 3 weeks. Potlucks (our 
fallback when cooks haven’t signed up) often don’t materialize. Of 18 long-time 
households, only 4 have taken the lead on a dinner (compared with 3 out of 4 
households who joined during the pandemic). The possible reasons include
- out of practice
- the aged members (70s and up) 3 years older and feeling less able (these 
folks are more likely to contribute a salad or dessert, or help with cleanup)
- younger members (40s and up) too busy/not making time
- thinking the meal has to be spectacular/elaborate
- still feeling the pressure to accommodate all dietary variations
- some members not participating in the community in additional ways (meetings, 
committees, work parties, etc)

I would love to read any strategies communities have tried for increasing 
participation, in particular for planning/leading preparation of a meal, and 
whether those strategies have been successful.

Madeline


> On Mar 16, 2023, at 3:59 AM, Joyce Cheney <jcheneyjc [at] gmail.com> wrote:
> 
> Grace Kim, 
> You wrote, “This ensures that no one has to weigh the cost of meals vs 
> attendance. The lead cook shops within their household budget/means. There 
> are no excuses for dietary restrictions/preferences being reason ppl can’t 
> attend.” How do your cooks handle dietary restrictions (not simply likes and 
> dislikes) in terms of extra work and cost? We have members whose diets are 
> vegan, vegetarian, gluten free, sugar free, keto, plus folks with allergies 
> to nuts, schrooms, shellfish, tomatoes, etc. 
> suggestions for handling all those needs? 
> Joyce Cheney, Casa Verde Commons
> 
>> On Mar 15, 2023, at 11:28 PM, Grace Kim <grace [at] schemataworkshop.com> 
>> wrote:
>> 
>> Zev-
>> We have a very simple meal program that includes meals every other night 
>> except for Saturdays (3x week) since we moved in 7 years ago. We took a 
>> break for Covid, but transitioned to 3-family “bring your own dinners” 
>> outdoors even through the winter.
>> Community meals were sorely missed by all (grown ups and kids) and we 
>> brought them back last summer.
>> 
>> We attribute our success to our simple and inclusive process. Team of 3 
>> cooks/cleans for each meal. Those teams are on regular rotation that lasts 
>> about 4-5 months.
>> 
>> The lead cook rotates amongst the 3 on team- and the lead plans the menu, 
>> shops and pay for ingredients. The only requirement is for the meal to be 
>> delicious and nutritious for all. This ensures that no one has to weigh the 
>> cost of meals vs attendance. The lead cook shops within their household 
>> budget/means. There are no excuses for dietary restrictions/preferences 
>> being reason ppl can’t attend.
>> 
>> There is a lot of ease, people just show up if they are home or get a late 
>> plate if they aren’t home. Or if they had rough day get a plate to take 
>> home. It’s not unusual for kids to come solo if their parents are at mtgs or 
>> events after work or out of town. We often have guests. No one counts how 
>> many came, no money changes hands. We figure over the long haul everyone has 
>> guests and it works out in the end.
>> 
>> A visitor from Australian cohousing who stayed with us for a week said our 
>> program was brilliant! And we agree.
>> 
>> 
>> grace h. kim
>> schemata workshop 
>> (sent via mobile messaging)
>> 206.795.2470
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