Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Conflict Resolution in your CC&R's

[Lauren (laurenlake161]

Our document does not have this language. It only calls for someone to pay 
costs (attorney fees, mediator fees, etc.) if they refuse to take part in a 
professional mediation.

> On Sunday, Jun 11, 2023 at 8:39 PM, Melanie Mindlin via Cohousing-L 
> <cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org (mailto:cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org)> 
> wrote:
> Hi Cohousing friends,
>
> We are having a discussion about our Conflict Resolution policies and want to 
> ask about the Conflict Resolution clauses in CC&R’s. We are a 15 year old 
> community that is re-examining our policies. We have a Conflict Resolution 
> document in addition to the CC&R’s that describes some recommended NVC 
> clearing processes, including the option to find a third party in the 
> community to help. This is not the subject about which we are seeking help.
>
> Our boiler-plate CC&R’s, received from our lawyer at formation 15 years ago, 
> include a Conflict Resolution process which we are only now looking at more 
> closely following some difficult times in our community. This policy states 
> that any member can follow a process which is first to try to resolve things 
> face to face (that would be covered by our separate clearing 
> recommendations), then if they are unresolved, demand a mediation. It goes on 
> to say that the parties get 10 days to find a professional mediator, and that 
> both parties have to split the cost. Aside from the obvious (to us) 
> unlikelihood of finding a mediator within 10 days, this seems like a 
> potentially unfair and unreasonable financial burden on the person receiving 
> this demand. There is nothing saying this couldn’t be done repeatedly, and 
> the possibility of someone using this as a tool for harassment looms large in 
> some minds. Our brief previous experience with professional mediation was 
> that it did little to improve the situation.
>
> We wonder if others have similar clauses in their CC&R’s, if they have ever 
> been called into play, and with what results? If not, what do your CC&R’s say 
> about Conflict resolution?
>
> And what do you do if a member of your community refuses to do a clearing or 
> other face to face conflict resolution with someone? What if someone has 
> already done this once or twice without resolving the conflict and don’t want 
> to continue repeating the experience?
>
> Thanks for sharing your thoughts and wisdom.
> Melanie
> Ashland Cohousing Community
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