Cohousing-L Mailing List: Conflict Resolution in your CC&R's

[Melanie Mindlin (sassetta]

Hi Cohousing friends,

We are having a discussion about our Conflict Resolution policies and want to 
ask about the Conflict Resolution clauses in CC&R’s.  We are a 15 year old 
community that is re-examining our policies. We have a Conflict Resolution 
document in addition to the CC&R’s that describes some recommended NVC clearing 
processes, including the option to find a third party in the community to help. 
 This is not the subject about which we are seeking help.

Our boiler-plate CC&R’s, received from our lawyer at formation 15 years ago, 
include a Conflict Resolution process which we are only now looking at more 
closely following some difficult times in our community. This policy states 
that any member can follow a process which is first to try to resolve things 
face to face (that would be covered by our separate clearing recommendations), 
then if they are unresolved, demand a mediation. It goes on to say that the 
parties get 10 days to find a professional mediator, and that both parties have 
to split the cost.  Aside from the obvious (to us) unlikelihood of finding a 
mediator within 10 days, this seems like a potentially unfair and unreasonable 
financial burden on the person receiving this demand. There is nothing saying 
this couldn’t be done repeatedly, and the possibility of someone using this as 
a tool for harassment looms large in some minds. Our brief previous experience 
with professional mediation was that it did little to improve the situation.

We wonder if others have similar clauses in their CC&R’s, if they have ever 
been called into play, and with what results? If not, what do your CC&R’s say 
about Conflict resolution?

And what do you do if a member of your community refuses to do a clearing or 
other face to face conflict resolution with someone? What if someone has 
already done this once or twice without resolving the conflict and don’t want 
to continue repeating the experience?

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and wisdom.
Melanie
Ashland Cohousing Community