Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Safety Hazards and Parenting Expectations in Cohousing

[Hafidha Acuay (hafidhaao]

Um... Repair the gate as soon as possible, and close the rooftop deck to
ALL until it's done.

The broken gate is a hazard to everyone, not only for children. And
it's a *serious
*liability. Is the "no children on the rooftop space" based on advice from
the insurance provider? As a former licensed insurance broker, I'd be
surprised.

I can believe there are tensions around what to make safe for children in
common areas, and some measure of disagreement is to be expected. Even
parents disagree. The community can set expectations, and a community can
also take reasonable actions to follow common sense advice  - 'keep out of
reach of children' is the guidance - why are people trying to reinvent the
wheel? These warning labels only end up on products because children have
literally died.

To give people space to discuss and understand each other, you could

   - Hold a series of round tables to discuss
   - Schedule annual 'how are the children?' community self assessment and
   maybe celebration
   - bring in a facilitator to help elicit concerns and develop shared
   agreements
   - form a parents committee so parents can work out some of their
   concerns and proposals together before taking to the whole community

But this broken gate on the rooftop situation does not fall under this
category in my opinion. It is not ambiguous. I don't view it as a children
/ parenting issue at all, it's a community safety issue. Someone could be
under the influence on the roof, or sleepwalk, or invite a friend over,
or... or...  Nobody should be up there. If there was an elevator with a
broken cable wire we wouldn't put a sign up that says "Don't use if you're
over 125lbs." We'd put an 'out of order' sign on the elevator.


On Mon, Sep 22, 2025 at 4:56 AM Kathryn Lowry via Cohousing-L <
cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org> wrote:

> Hello Cohousing friends,
>
> I’d love to learn how other communities have approached a challenge we’re
> facing at Daybreak Cohousing.
>
> We have an accessible rooftop deck with a gate that separates the
> reinforced portion of the roof (intended for community use) from a
> non-reinforced portion that is unsafe. The gate is broken, and there’s
> debate about whether the solution is to repair the gate/barrier or to
> restrict children (and, in practice, families) from using the rooftop deck
> entirely.
>
> This has stirred up a larger tension we’ve felt in other contexts too:
>
>
>    -
>
>    Should safety hazards in common elements be addressed through structural
>    fixes and hazard mitigation?
>    -
>
>    Or should the responsibility fall primarily on parents to keep children
>    away, even when hazards are part of shared spaces?
>
> For example, our guidelines currently say “keep children away from
> [chemicals stored at floor level],” while product labels say “store out of
> reach of children.” It feels like the same dynamic with the roof: are we
> managing the hazard, or are we shifting responsibility onto parents?
>
> I’m reaching out to hear how your community has handled similar situations.
>
>
>    -
>
>    Have you faced tension between structural hazard mitigation and
>    parenting expectations?
>    -
>
>    What policies, practices, or cultural approaches have helped your
>    community find balance?
>    -
>
>    Have you found effective ways to keep the focus on shared stewardship
>    instead of individual parenting styles?
>
> Any stories, lessons learned, or even “what didn’t work” would be
> incredibly helpful.
>
>
> With gratitude,
>
> Kathryn Lowry
>
> Daybreak Cohousing, Portland OR
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