Cohousing-L Mailing List: re: Trust

[Dan Ardoin (71045.2023]

I have been attending meetings of the Grell group in Oceano, CA for a couple
months now as a non-member.  At a recent meeting I witnessed a conflict 
resolution
process which came about over attached garages.  The issue was hot and seemed
to stall progress of the group.  During the resolution process some 
members were
unable to be present.  The process went forward and came to a successfull
conclusion.  When the absent members came back and heard the results there was
a sense of relief.  This was articlutated as "trust".  How wonderful it 
was that trust
could freely be given over to the group.

Another topic came up that wasn't so hot; proper and timely 
notification of business
meetings and when is concensus allowed.  Trusting came up again as
a valid position opposed to spelling out (in by-laws) exactly what
time limits there were for calling a special meeting.  (We don't need 
more rules, I
trust everyone here to notify me when something is going on and if I choose not
to be there or can't be there, I trust everyone to come to a concensus I would
have no problem with.)

I began thinking about trust in this setting.  I have never seen it 
written in any by-laws
of any organization or non-profit corporation I have been associated 
with.  I think
it would be amazing indeed to see trust sewn into the very fabric of an 
organization
by including it in the constitution and by-laws.

A quote from "Spirit at Work" by Jay A. Conger & Associates:

.. on the inner journey "we learn that we do not have to carry the whole load,
that we can be empowered by sharing the load with others, and that sometimes
we are even free to lay our part of the load down.  We learn that co-creation
leaves us free to do only what we are called and able to do, and to trust the
rest to other hands."

In regards to sweat equity, I don't know how trust can eliminate 
fairness issues
completely but I suspect it is more a matter of the right frame of mind than of
practicalities.  I believe there is a certain amount of letting go and 
giving of
yourself.  I believe that what is happening in the group is only what 
is projected
from what is happening inside each member.  That projection can be 
either mostly
good or mostly bad.  Guess which kind requires the most rules.

Dan