Robs Conference Report
From: Rob Sandelin (robsanmicrosoft.com)
Date: Tue, 18 Oct 94 12:59 CDT
The most amazing aspect of this for me was that we all seem to find 
ourselves going through the same sorts of issues and difficulties and 
joys at roughly the same time during our growth and development. 
Patterns kept emerging the more I talked with people from different 
communities.  I spend all night Saturday, laying awake digesting these 
patterns and will tell you about them when they crystallize.

And also, we are only 3 years old and much wiser than we know.

Significant learning's I came away with.

1. The atmosphere of community dinner does a lot to encourage and 
discourage peoples attendance.  Having a Sunday dinner is a way to let 
the poor 12 hour a day working folks be involved.

2. (This is sort of metaphorical - sorry)  If you look at a flower from 
two feet away it is beautiful. That is our first perception of 
cohousing the ideal. When you look at a flower from 8 inches away you 
begin to notice the imperfections, a petal missing, a chewed leaf etc., 
this is cohousing after you have been together awhile but don't have 
land yet.  When you look at a flower from 3 inches away it can be quite 
ugly, hairy, scaly and full of bugs. This is cohousing after you have 
land and are doing the intense development work.  The important thing 
to realize is that it is still the same flower and by stepping back you 
can see the beauty.  As we get into the intense real estate development 
part it is crucial to create community support, even though you have no 
time or energy to do this, so you remember and appreciate the beauty.  
I talked with 4 groups who didn't do this and many were very fragmented 
and unhappy after moving in. They never really built community along 
the way, they all expected it to happen once they lived together and 
were disappointed that it hadn't yet, or that it wasn't what they 
wanted.  In crunch time you need to save at least 10% and put that 
energy into social stuff -  hanging out with NO BUSINESS on the agenda, 
just socializing.

3.  What we are doing is right.  For centuries upon centuries we lived 
in tribes.  Our instincts tell us to do this and cohousing is an 
expression of this.  We must spread this to the rest of our society by 
being the examples of how to live in tribes again.  We cannot live in 
isolation in our cohousing groups, we must gather and share what we 
have learned.

4.  I spent a lot of time talking and listening to architects.  
(Sharingwood is looking for one to do our second phase).  The ones I 
talked with and listened to are very much building centric.  The best 
designs and designers are people centric.

5.  If cohousing is going to grow and expand it has to be made easier.  
We will need to develop competent professionals to do the hard part 
(the land development stuff) for us and spent much more time as future 
residents building our personal relationships rather than being land 
developers. This is beginning to happen.

Rob Sandelin
Sharingwood

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