Cohousing-L Mailing List: re: Kids and work

[Albert Harum-Alvarez (Albert]

A resent message, first sent when the list was down:
=AD--------------------------------------------------------
Subject:     re: Kids and work
Sent:        12/5/96 10:18 PM
To:          cohousing-l [at] freedom.mtn.org

Rob wrote:
>I think community comes when you stop worrying about that stuff and just 
>appreciate what gets done and celebrate what gets accomplished, not who =
does 
>it.

Over my time on this list, mostly reading, I've learned a lot about =
cohousing from Rob and others. But I'm still not sure how it is with =
kids and responsibility in cohousing communities. I guess I could try =
to visit more sites, but I'd like to know with a little less work on =
my part. :-}  Isn't that what this list is for?

I am hearing some folks, like Rob, speak about the ideal of =
cohousing: no required duties, but everything gets done. This sounds =
like a true family, and it's wonderful. But I'm also hearing in some =
posts, for instance, one from King Collins, that things aren't quite =
like that, at least where they live.

I know that many groups are trying to attract families with kids like =
mine. I know that for my wife and myself this issue of kids' =
responsibilities re the community is very important. If this is a =
problem in cohousing, could it be a small part of the reason (besides =
economics, etc.) that some communities have had a hard time =
attracting families with kids?

Another question, which I had asked on the list awhile back but not =
received an answer to:

Do many cohousing communities have extended families in them? This =
seems like such a natural, seeing as how the ideal of cohousing is =
very similar to the idea of a large family.

Or ar people attracted to cohousing because their own families have =
failed to provide the sense of community they seek. Is cohousing then =
a (brave and courageous) attempt to reinvent the family from the =
ashes of dysfunction? (sorry for the bad poetry, there! I was trying =
to riff off of King's comments :-P  

And is this also why it's hard to attract minorities (besides =
economics, once again!)? Because Latins and blacks are more likely to =
have fully functioning extended families, and so don't need to (or =
want to) attend meetings for years in order to recreate them?

Please understand the context of these questions. I think, from the =
little I really know about it, that cohousing is an incredible and =
very important movement, and I am in awe of the sheer effort many of =
you have expended to make it happen. I admire you all!

Albert