Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Balancing Children and Creating Cohousing

[Robyn Williams (zen]

Hello Jasmine

When I became a founding member of Pinakarri my daughter, Cyd, was 2 years
old - she turns 10 later this year.  The move to my coho house will be our
fifth in that time period.

In Pinakarri we always organise paid childcare for the meetings, sometimes
paying in the local LETS currency ( freos ).  At the beginning we even
set-up our own daycare with rosters for carers to enable the ( mainly sole )
parents to have some space to do co-op work and time out.  We always gather
regularly to share community dinners and other social and leisure time.  My
daughter is one of 5 Pinakarri girls in her class at school.  Community is
the intention that drives us to create cohousing.

Our children aren't all best friends but they're good friends with some
special bonds.  They are all family.  One of the best bits of this journey
for me is the relationships I have developed with most of the children.  I
love having the co-op girls around our house, looking in the fridge, teasing
me, comfortable with my hugs and confident in my care.  I like my 'aunty'
role and look forward to when as teens they need to have other adult allies
to turn to occasionally.  I feel a sense of warmth and safety for my
daughter in having familiar, caring friends and peers around.

Over the years my Cyd has felt some frustration at my involvement with the
houses - "Pinakarri this and Pinakarri that!", she says, but usually when
she's bored and I'm the only potential playmate.  It can certainly be more
stressful when children are still quite young.  As a key person in
progressing our project, there were certainly times when I have had to pause
and prioritise my daughter's needs.

In about 3 weeks, after 71/2 years, we move in to our cohousing co-op.  Cyd
has a sense of self-worth and communication skills that are honed by her
association with aware and caring people.  She has particularly enjoyed the
construction phase; watching buildings grow, learning the concepts and
language of architecture, design, passive solar, energy efficiency as well
as group and personal process, co-operation, ecology ...  her world is rich,
safe and mostly happy.

She's totally delighted about moving into her new bedroom, painted yellow
with pink and green spots.



Warmest regards
Robyn Williams
Pinakarri Community
Fremantle, Western Australia