Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Arguments & Arguers

[PattyMara (PattyMara]

In a message dated 8/25/99 9:31:59 PM !!!First Boot!!!, 
sharonvillines [at] prodigy.net writes:

<< When people yell, they are having strong feelings. People with strong
 feelings make strong community members. You want these people around. >>

Sharon,
Most of the time this is true.  Sometimes it isn't.  When an emotionally 
imbalanced individual is thrown into the mix of community, the rules to "fair 
fighting" go out the window.   These individuals may be incapable of the 
focus and intention to change their abusive behaviors.   In some cases I 
think professional help is needed but most often the individual may not 
willingly seek it. These folks don't make for cooperative community members, 
and I'm not sure I want them around.   

But these folks surely don't end up living in community, do they?  Yup.  They 
do. 

What to do about it?  Not sure.  We're in the midst of some strong 
confrontations with community members over use of common land.  Shouting 
matches have commenced.  I'll let you know what works for us, when we figure 
it out.

Patty Mara Gourley
Tierra Nueva, Central CA Coast