Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Arguments & Arguers

[Hans Tilstra (hanstilstra]

With Fritz Perls sitting on my left shoulder whispering that expression is
healthy, that letting it out is therapeutic. I know where I stand, I am not
too confluent. Important issues are finally let out, the underdog is getting
a voice.

Much stronger is my strong sense of discomfort when I'm yelled at. I hate it
when I hear neighbours argueing loudly. Domestic violence is what comes to
mind. Unfairness. Police.

I feel very uncomfortable when I'm yelled at. It implies I don't listen or
don't care. Yet, how would the arguer know that?

Part of the solution I think is that I need to share with the other how this
impacts on me. Yet I also feel coerced in sharing with the arguer that this
is what I am feeling.

Hans