Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Anger and Arguments

[DHCano (DHCano]

In a message dated 8/31/99 2:31:38 AM Eastern Daylight Time, 
admin [at] moonland.com writes:

<< Yelling or
 whispering in a voice full of hatred is not as important as what the
 intended message >> 

Anger and hatred are not the same.  Our discussion on this thread has not 
addressed the issue of hatred.

<<feeling* angry can be seen as an inability to effectively deal with
 the world. >>

Feeling angry is a normal response to various little and big things.  How we 
act when we're angry may be productive or destructive.

It would be a pity to pathologize normal feelings, especially to children, 
who can unfortunately become convinced that there's something wrong with them 
when (inevitably) they feel angry.

This thread provokes a lot of feeling.  I'm wondering if that's because 
dealing with anger in community is particularly difficult, or just because 
dealing with strong emotion of any sort gets us highly reactive?

If the former, maybe some discussion of the particulars would be helpful?  
We've probably gone about as far as we can with generalizations.

Diane Cano
at Ganas, on Staten Island, New York City, NY,
where we're having a beautiful pseudo-fall day, and I think I'll go out and 
deal with some weeds.