Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: remaining relevant (re: all the sex talk)

[Paul Marquardt (ardt]

Hi Folks,

I've been following this thread with a perverse (maybe voyeuristic) interest.

In my opinion, this subject has little to do with morals or religion.
Mostly it comes down to how we work as a society.  These days people are
willing to buck the wisdom passed down from past generations because it's
our God given right to "Feel Good."  But the guidelines we're bucking were
not chosen arbitrarily nor to exclude anybody, but to make it easier to
share a common experience and build community.

Living in a vaccuum, we are all free to follow our gut instincts.  A few
thousand years or so ago, we found out that many times these drives can
cause problems.  A person with naturally agressive tendencies may need to
curb them some to avoid being ostracized by those who want to live peacably
together.  Natural born cleptos need to mainstream their desires for other
people's stuff in order to be trusted as part of a larger group.  I believe
we have also learned to seek a monogamous love life to make living in large
groups easier.  How?  I don't particularly know, except that maybe it's a
little less complicated, especially for those of us who want to carry out
another generation.

I'm not trying to tell anyone what to do.  God knows, in these times of
overpopulation we don't all need to be spawning another generation.  I just
hope we can all live together comfortably.  It may be a good education for
my kids to see other lifestyles.  I'll encourage them to make their own
choices, but I'll also pass onto them the things I've learned.

I think we're all born on some part of the continuum of "poly."  I don't
think it's a bad thing to want other partners.  I do think that most folks
fall in love more than once.  Does it really take being sexual to show
that?

These are some of the thoughts this discussion has provoked in me.  Now I
can quit thinking them for a bit.
Peace.
-Paul