Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Polyamory et al

[Fred H. Olson (fholson]

Maryann Jones,  Southside Park Co-housing, 
jonema.dwq_po.dwqmain [at] dwq.swrcb.ca.gov
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by the Fred the list manager:  fholson@cohousing org

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I have lived in a cohousing community for several years now, and I can
assure you that this topic has never come up.  And like you, we have older
people as well as some fairly conservative catholic families.

Personally, this discussion of poly is starting to bore me, but it is also
making me jealous.  How come these people can find whole multitudes of
people who want to be engaged in loving, sexual relationships with them
and finding even one person eludes me?  (that was a rhetorical question, I
really do not want an answer to it)

Maryann Jones
Southside Park Co-housing

>>> <Carleolady [at] aol.com> 10/25/99 08:44PM >>>
Am I incredibly naive, or is this discussion about polyamory significant to 
only  a minority of cohousing communities?  

 We are at the beginning stages of trying to start a cohousing community in a 
 *relatively* conservative California area.  Relative, that is, say, to Santa 
Cruz or the SFBay area.   When explaining to people what cohousing is I have 
alway been quick to say that, no, it's *not* like the communes of the '60s, 
and that it combines the strengths of neighborly support and interaction 
along with the *privacy* that an individual home provides.  If some of these 
people were to be reading this particulary thread on polyamory et al, they 
would be totally turned off to the idea of cohousing.

What about the elderly that we're trying to attract to our diverse community? 
 What about different ethnic, cultural groups that we're trying to include?  
Many of these folks would probably be appalled at this discussion.   Is it 
possible that a cohousing community that has a number of people who are 
following a polyamorous (???) lifestyle has become a little more 
"intentional" than what I understand is cohousing?  (oh please say yes..)

Where does that phrase "discretion is the better part of valor" come from?   
I think it's quite applicable in this case.    *To me*,  cohousing is 
community--and * to me*  a working community is one that tolerates, accepts, 
welcomes diversity in all of its forms and yet at the same time is respectful 
of the values and sensitivities of its members.  Can't it be that simple?

By the way, I'm 49 yrs old, was in Berzerkley in the '60s and have been 
there, done that..

Okay.  Now y'all can tell me how naive I am.....

Elaine Bush
Central Coast Cohousing
Monterey Peninsula, CA