Cohousing-L Mailing List: Member of more than one group?

[Sharon Villines (sharonvillines]

> << Here's a follow-up question - I've noticed a few postings here that 
> mentioned being involved with more than
> one cohousing group... Is this common?  Is it considered "bad form"?

I would suggest that you be up-front about it to both (all) groups and be
clear about what your intentions/interests are. One person who looked at
Synergy in Florida was very clear that she was going to spend a year looking
at cohousing groups all over the US before she considered any one group. She
had made a bad move and  business investment a few years before and couldn't
do it again. That was very helpful to us. We could enjoy her, but there was
little chance that she could commit in time to help with a construction
loan.

I was recently intermediary for putting a person in touch with a group in
the Southwest. The person seemed interested (and of course I knew this was
the right thing for her) but fortunately the group contacted me and asked
how interested she was as they had a deadline coming up. In 6 weeks they a
go or disband decision to  make. Having an interested and capable person
with real estate experience gave them hope.

Since I understood my referral's position and their position, I was able to
explain all around that she would not in any case be able to make a decision
that fast. And after really talking with her it seemed clear that she was
not ready to move.

Since new people are rarely so clear about their intentions and interests,
these questions are hard for relative strangers to ask and hard for
inexperienced people answer. But it is important not to set up false or
unrealistic expectations. If you have no intention of moving until your last
child is out of high school, say so. It might change and you would be
willing to board him out for three months if necessary, but give the group a
general idea of what you are looking for and know you are not looking for.

Sharon.
--
Sharon Villines
MacGuffin Guide to Detective Fiction
http://www.macguffin.net
Takoma Village Cohousing, Washington, DC
http://www.home.earthlink.net/~takomavillag/