Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: use of email for communication

[Kay Argyle (argyle]

> adopt a policy ... that seems to 
> specifically prohibit [email's] use for discussions because some people
don't 
> like it. 

Wasatch Commons has undergone a couple of attempts to cut off any
discussions by email, with the arguments that people said rude things and
people got excluded.  Neither of those held water for me.  Some of the
nastiest things I've heard said in cohousing came from face-to-face
meetings.  It became clear that the people in our group who didn't have
email _chose_ not to, which to me turned the whole thing around -- it
wasn't fair for people who chose not to participate to prevent others who
wished to (if "not everyone is present" is a valid argument -- no more
talking in the laundry room!).

It seemed to me the discussions over email were a lot more substantive than
discussions held during casual encounters.  Email discussion sometimes
brought out objections in time for a proposal to be tweaked, instead of
ambushing it at the community meeting.

I frequently need to babble on about something for a while to figure out
what I think.  I don't think fast, either.  (Lucky for you all, a lot of
babbling gets deleted before I hit "send.")  There isn't time for that in
meetings.  On one occasion, a proposal that I wrote got amended during the
meeting in such a way that when I thought it through afterwards I felt sick
about the repercussions and the precedent, and I wished whole-heartedly
that I had blocked it (my own proposal, remember).  (Fortunately,
circumstances prevented implementation.)

The people who think fast and are verbal dominate meeting discussions.  I
rarely say much in meetings, and I felt cutting off email discussion
amounted to censorship.

Kay
Wasatch Commons, SLC