Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Defining "the cohousing principle"

[Lydia & Ray Ducharme (ducharm1]

I've heard the phrase that "Cohousing is the longest most expensive personal
development course you'll ever take and in the end you'll own a house".

We've been at it about 5 years.  I joined in the summer of 1997.  Through
our struggles to build the group and get the project going we've learned a
lot about ourselves and each other.  Our group is incredibly close.  We
still have conflicts but we love each other and work through our differences
as they arise.

It's hard to believe that I will ever be as close to the late comers as I am
to the people I'm currently struggling with.

Lydia Ducharme
WholeLife Housing
Calgary, Canada

> Let's go build it, then
> we'll move in and enjoy it.  What's so terrible about experiencing the
> creationary process together?  If it is stressful, that is a reflection of
> our current society and it's pressures to move faster and faster....the
> people of the past had a slower life.  It's the process that matters in
> every valuable thing...."raising" the children, "nurturing" the garden,
> "designing" the home, "building" the community, "meeting" people, etc.
> Sometime, too, the harder things in life are the more important things.
If
> I spend 4 years with people creating a community, then I'm truly prepared
to
> live with these people.  I truly KNOW these people.  I'm more likely to
know
> that this is the right place for me and my family and I'm more likely to
> stick around because my decision will be a more informed one.  If you skip
> the difficult pre-move-in experiences (like a honeymoon stage in a
> relationship) you move in and are suddently blown away (perhaps) by the
> difficulties of doing real stuff together....assigning chores, dealing
with
> disagreements, etc.  So, how can we decide what hardships are okay to
> experience and which hardships we want to "avoid?"
>
> Anyway...not the most organized message, but I tried.  ;->
> March
>
>