Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: What's wrong with communes?

[Hans Tilstra (tilstra]

> What's wrong with communes?

In discussion groups, I draw a triangle on the floor and create a continuum
from dependency (one person belongs to the other, having no freedom and
energy of my own) to narcissism (the other person is mine, not a separate
entity with freedom and energy of their own) and codependency (both of the
above, simultaneously).

In the history of communes, I can think of many examples where this
experimentation with boundaries has shown a proliferation of users and
abused. So, the user may claim to be the guru / opinion leader, bestowing
his wisdom on other people, or claims to have a degree of freedom breaching
the other person's boundaries (often physical & financial).

In all of the above, there is a negation of personhood, role confusion, and
enormous emotional negativity.

Hans Tilstra
tilstra [at] smartchat.net.au


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