Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: What's wrong with communes?

[Racheli&John (jnpalme]

** Reply to note from "Hans Tilstra" <tilstra [at] smartchat.net.au> Fri, 11 
May 2001 13:30:07 +1000
>From Racheli

   
> > What's wrong with communes?

Hans responded:   
> In discussion groups, I draw a triangle on the floor and create a continuum
> from dependency (one person belongs to the other, having no freedom and
> energy of my own) to narcissism (the other person is mine, not a separate
> entity with freedom and energy of their own) and codependency (both of the
> above, simultaneously).
>   
> In the history of communes, I can think of many examples where this
> experimentation with boundaries has shown a proliferation of users and
> abused. So, the user may claim to be the guru / opinion leader, bestowing
> his wisdom on other people, or claims to have a degree of freedom breaching
> the other person's boundaries (often physical & financial).
>   
> In all of the above, there is a negation of personhood, role confusion, and
> enormous emotional negativity.

It seems to me that all of the above occurs often enough in families.
Yet, we don't claim that all families are bad, or that we should
avoid using the word 'family'.

R.



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