Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Lesbians and gays in cohousing -- Pattee

[Maggi Rohde (maggi]

I wrote:
> > I hope that any community in which I become involved would judge me and my
> > partners as individuals, regardless of their (or my) gender, and by the
> > same standards they judge monogamous (or straight) people.

Then Jayne replied:
> I suspect that I actually agree with you but I have a problem the
> way you have phrased this. The standard for monogamous people is
> that they confine themselves to one partner.  That is a reasonable
> standard for people who have taken a vow to do just that.  Imposing
> that standard on people who have not taken it upon themselves is
> probably a major cause of unfair negative attitudes toward the
> consciously non-monogamous.  I would say that judging polys by the
> same standards as one judges the monongamous is exactly what a
> community should *not* do.

Hmm... that's a good point.  I guess I meant "Don't judge me by what you
think I do in bed (assuming it's safe/sane/consensual and I don't wave it
in your face) unless you're in bed with me."  *grin*

Hot topic for me, if you hadn't guessed.  I really like this list -- you
guys (almost) always think things through.

-Maggi Rohde, Ann Arbor
 teacher, librarian, communitarian

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