Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: [C-L] Perverts in cohousing

[Catherine Harper (tylik]

(Yes, I mean the title humorously)

(Okay, and I started this note this morning, and only am getting a chance
to finish it now, so pardon me if I'm a bit out of synch...)

On Wed, 6 Feb 2002, Howard Landman wrote:

> You might want to look through the archives, there was a brief but
> heated discussion of poly and coho some months back.  

It's been a recurring subject on the list -- the first discussion about it
that I participated in being at least seven years ago.  There are several
rounds in the archives.

My experience so far with cohousing folks and polyamory is that a number
of people are a fairly fruck out about it in theory.  But most of the
folks I've met face to face don't seem particularly fruck out about me in
practice.  Though perhaps they're just too polite to mention it ;-)  (And
a lot of the worry seems to be that poly folk will hit on them or their
spouses, which strikes me as an unfortunate stereotype.  Kind of like the
one about how we'll upset the neighbors with our wild orgies.  Oh, I
haven't been to a decent orgy in years...!) 

Some of those discussions did do a lot to develop my feelings about
diversity, so I'm all the more glad we had them.  Communities are about
diversity...  but they're also about commonality, and while diversity
might be a worthwhile thing to strive for, there is a point where the
turmoil of being someone else's learning experience doesn't really seem to
give adequate returns...  Heck, there are days when it's stressful enough
that my housemate and I don't entirely see eye to eye on recycling issues.

                                Catherine


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