Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Lesbians and gays in cohousing -- Pattee

[Jayne Kulikauskas (cml]

Maggi Rohde <maggi [at] intranet.org> writes:

> Christine Pattee wrote:
> > My sense is that gay people fit in fine (and that a non-monogamous couple
> > of any gender would be a problem in most social circles).
> 
> Hmm.  That's comforting.  =(  But thanks for your candor.
> 
> I hope that any community in which I become involved would judge me and my
> partners as individuals, regardless of their (or my) gender, and by the
> same standards they judge monogamous (or straight) people.

I suspect that I actually agree with you but I have a problem the
way you have phrased this. The standard for monogamous people is
that they confine themselves to one partner.  That is a reasonable
standard for people who have taken a vow to do just that.  Imposing
that standard on people who have not taken it upon themselves is
probably a major cause of unfair negative attitudes toward the
consciously non-monogamous.  I would say that judging polys by the
same standards as one judges the monongamous is exactly what a
community should *not* do.

Jayne Kulikauskas
 member of Whole Village: Sustainable Farm Community
  currently under development - see www.wholevillage.org
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