Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Finding your path in community

[Cheryl A. Charis-Graves (ccharis]

On 7/15/02 9:32 PM, "Sharon Villines" <sharon [at] sharonvillines.com> wrote:
> 
> The long table people find them more community supportive because everyone
> is sitting together. You just sit down in the next seat.
> 
> The 'artistic' people want more choices and more connected conversations if
> not more intimate conversations.

I will chime in here to say that I generally do not go to community meals
for some of the very reasons that Rob mentioned. I live alone and work in an
environment that demands a great deal of emotional focus from me, mostly
directed outward, in support of others. When I get home, I crave emotional
connection, and I need to be listened to. For me, that means a conversation
with one-three persons on topics that dip well below the surface. I've been
in conversation with people all day, so my personal need is for personal
connection, not just more conversation. While it seems contrary to say so, I
find common meals are not emotionally connecting for me.

In general, I find common meals to be too stimulating, with too much going
on, too much movement, and too many different and simultaneous
conversations. The set up described by Rob, with tables further apart,
sounds more appealing to me. I really do want more intimate conversations.

Now, in keeping with his suggestion, I will have to think about how to
create that for myself (I don't cook, and don't "entertain").

Cheryl
Harmony Village
Golden, CO


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