Cohousing-L Mailing List: RE: Interpreting Sharon's" individual vs. group" statements

[Faria, Sheryl (sheryl.faria]

Hey Kay,

Why would you stand aside on an issue like this? Maybe your community's
operational definition of consensus is way different than what I understand
it to be. 

My take on consensus is that all members can live with a decision. While all
may not necessarily like it, all can accept it, all who have opinions have
been heard, and the decision is workable (NOT HARMFUL!) for the community. 


-----Original Message-----
From: Kay Argyle [mailto:argyle [at] mines.utah.edu]
Sent: Tuesday, February 11, 2003 7:07 PM
To: cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org
Subject: Re: [C-L]_Interpreting Sharon's" individual vs. group"
statements



> The objective of consensus is not compromise but resolution.
> Sharon

Putting it that way helps me grasp why I feel edgy about the way a current
issue in our community looks like going.

A couple of discussion groups using our facilities, with both resident and
nonresident members, use incense.  I've been doing a slow burn [pun
intended] about this for at least a year now -- incense is every bit as
harmful as the tobacco banned by our no-smoking policy, and we have at least
a half dozen members with respiratory problems (including me).  Every once
in a while the back room was the only one available to hold a meeting in,
and even after several days with the windows cracked open, enough VOCs
lingered that I would cough for a couple of hours after the meeting.

I'll speak up for other people, even if not for myself.  The flashpoint came
the night my room-mate came bouncing home, saying there was going to be a
belly dance in the dojo.  She pulled out pants, scarves, finger cymbals, and
belts, and bundled me into a blanket to come watch, despite being sick.

There was a stick of incense burning.  After a  minute or two in the room
she was having trouble, and said that she wasn't going to be able to stay.
Seeing her deflate, when she'd been so buzzing with anticipation, made me
mad.

The "compromise" some of the incense-users are willing to agree to is that
(a) they won't burn it if they know someone with asthma is going to be
present, and (b) they'll only burn it in a couple of rooms -- exactly what
they were already doing.  This is a compromise?  I don't feel it offers me
anything.

An ad hoc committee of members on both sides of this issue is supposed to
meet and draft a proposal.  If the incense-users' offer is what passes, I'm
going to have to stand aside, because I cannot and will not agree to
something that compromises members' safety.

And afterwards I go back to the slow burn, now without the consolation that
they're acting out of ignorance -- they know what they're doing, and they
insist on doing it anyway.  Not exactly a resolution.

Kay

P.S.  Sharon, can I quote your statement in the chapter on consensus in our
handbook?
argyle @ mines.utah.edu


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