Cohousing-L Mailing List: Where are the grownups?

[Sharon Villines (sharon]

>From birth my childhood alternated between one strongly controlled by my
very ambitious and god-fearing grandmother and one where the only control
was the one I was able to provide. Since the age of three, I have been aware
that while "freedom" is certainly more fun, on the whole my life was far
better when the grown-ups are in control. The "freedom" brought upheaval
caused by lack of planning and untimely responsiveness and placed unfair
burdens on the least powerful who were blamed for all problems and expected
to fix them (me as the oldest child).

I begin this preface to my question so you see my emotional bias as I ask
the question:

How do communities build their sense of order and predictability -- the
sense that things are under control -- and at the same time not be
militaristic about assigning tasks and exercising accountability?

In other words -- how do you keep from going to war over things that don't
get done that jeopardize the financial investments and physical safety of
residents?

I'm stating this in a extreme way but sometimes I wonder if our sense of
community comes from wanting to be children in community, not grown-ups in
charge of protecting and building the community and taking responsibility
for tasks that have to be done rather than just choosing those tasks we want
to do, on an occasional basis.

Sharon
-- 
Sharon Villines
Takoma Village Cohousing, Washington DC
http://www.takomavillage.org



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