Cohousing-L Mailing List: RE: Let's Try That Again: Aging In Place In Cohousing

[Oilcloth International/Cardie Molina (oilcloth]

One thing elders could do is use a delivery meal service as a group within
the co-housing. In the retirement communities meals are a major service
offered and a major part of the day.  The meals could be ordered and
delivered on a regular basis, this would save the time that those elders
would have to spend on their own cooking and shopping and perhaps leave more
energy for their other volunteer or community activities. It also insures
that they are eating well, socializing and can be observed for obvious signs
of distress or advancing dementia.
Full kitchens are not even available in assisted living as they cause a
safety problem and people lose interest in cooking.
Also, within the community there should be teenagers or others working at
home. Caregivers can be hired from the members of the co-housing group. To
run errands, assist with house cleaning, etc. This interaction with
different generations is important. Who wants to be around a bunch of old
people all day! LOL. 
The older subgroup themselves will come up with all kinds of things they are
interested in naturally but having services brought to them is essential as
they age; i.e. hair cutting, income tax help, physical therapy - tai chi.
Those members who live in co-housing already have a hand up as they are
receptive to living in community. They are the lucky ones. 
Many men and women too of this generation are fiercely independent and do
not want or don't know how to trade independence to accept help. Once
dementia starts it is hard to learn new skills such as these and routine
becomes more and more important. 

Cardie with a 90 year old father 
 

"A New Oilcloth Makes the Whole Family Happy"(TM)
 
Oilcloth International, Inc.
www.oilcloth.com 
Phone: 323-344-3967 Fax 323-344-0409/259-5951
 

-----Original Message-----
From: Caren Albercook [mailto:calbercook [at] yahoo.com] 
Sent: Friday, March 24, 2006 3:58 AM
To: cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org
Subject: [C-L]_ Let's Try That Again: Aging In Place In Cohousing

Hi Guys,
   I'm really surprised by the lack of interest in
this issue.  Maybe it's because I'm a physician and
deal with this all day long that it's so real to me.  
   Aging happens slowly with a gradual lessening of
energy and memory, that eventually results in falls or
car accidents.  It's harder and harder to get things
done and so the recyclables pile up and the running
toilet goes unrepaired and community jobs go undone.  
   We neighbors are the best situated to notice these
early changes, even more than the visiting kids. 
Doing something about it is the challenge.  We work so
hard in cohousing to respect and value others opinions
that I think it reinforces the already existing social
reticence to discuss this.  
   There's also the question of who is responsible for
our elders, the kids or the neighbors?  And we often
don't have a relationship with the visiting kids from
which to open the topic.   
   The issue my neighbor was so aware of is her
lessening ability to do her community work.  She
doesn't want to be a burden, but how will she do her
share of meal work or community scut work?  And we all
know theres more of that to go around than there are
people to do it.
   The only wisdom I've reached so far is to get some
system/expectations in place for our elders so that
the transition is expected/smoothed/less stigmatized. 
I like the idea of care circles but it assumes the
person is comfortable with being the focus of
care/receiving.  It does leave someone more capable
coordinating the care. Hope to hear more from you.  Caren

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