Cohousing-L Mailing List: Let's Try That Again: Aging In Place In Cohousing

[Caren Albercook (calbercook]

Hi Guys,
   I'm really surprised by the lack of interest in
this issue.  Maybe it's because I'm a physician and
deal with this all day long that it's so real to me.  
   Aging happens slowly with a gradual lessening of
energy and memory, that eventually results in falls or
car accidents.  It's harder and harder to get things
done and so the recyclables pile up and the running
toilet goes unrepaired and community jobs go undone.  
   We neighbors are the best situated to notice these
early changes, even more than the visiting kids. 
Doing something about it is the challenge.  We work so
hard in cohousing to respect and value others opinions
that I think it reinforces the already existing social
reticence to discuss this.  
   There's also the question of who is responsible for
our elders, the kids or the neighbors?  And we often
don't have a relationship with the visiting kids from
which to open the topic.   
   The issue my neighbor was so aware of is her
lessening ability to do her community work.  She
doesn't want to be a burden, but how will she do her
share of meal work or community scut work?  And we all
know theres more of that to go around than there are
people to do it.
   The only wisdom I've reached so far is to get some
system/expectations in place for our elders so that
the transition is expected/smoothed/less stigmatized. 
I like the idea of care circles but it assumes the
person is comfortable with being the focus of
care/receiving.  It does leave someone more capable
coordinating the care. Hope to hear more from you.  Caren

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