Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: RE: Nonviolent Communication (NVC) in Cohousing Communities

[OCCNG11 (normangauss]

The need for leisurely analytical thinking is crucial for making wise 
decisions.  Yet I find this to be generally lacking in our community.  There 
is a tendency to have knee-jerk reactions on the issues or to evaluate 
issues from a personal emotional view rather than a community-wide logical 
approach.  I have found this to be a tendency in impatient people who seek 
solutions without thoroughly examining the problems.  In additionn, their 
egos often get in the way of clear thinking because they resent opposing 
arguments.

One recent problem with an instant solution was the claim that moisture was 
penetrating a double-paned window and that the window needed to be replaced. 
I asked, "Did you rule out the possibility that the moisture was 
condensation on the outside of the window?"  The answer was "No, and we are 
not going to investigate this possibility because the problem was reported 
many months ago and we have already told the resident that we will replace 
the window."  To me this is an attempt to save face.  Here we are asking the 
window company to replace a window that may not need replacing!

Logic is absent here, as it frequently is in discussions with opposing 
views.

Norm Gauss
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Herveys" <hervey [at] proaxis.com>
To: <cohousing-L [at] cohousing.org>
Sent: Thursday, May 11, 2006 2:09 PM
Subject: [C-L]_ RE: Nonviolent Communication (NVC) in Cohousing Communities


> I'm a member of CoHo (Corvallis, Oregon).  I'm an engineer by education 
> and
> practice.  One of the useful outcomes of our use of Compassionate
> Communication (aka - NVC) has been my somewhat unexpected willingness to
> listen to people who don't use analytical reasoning as the basis of their
> decisions.  Several times, in general meetings, as the tension is rising,
> and my dissatisfaction at folks not seeing the logical outcome of the
> information being discussed is peaking, someone will say, "I don't
> understand the need behind this issue."  And the conversation suddenly
> switches.  When we talk about the needs that we are trying to meet, the
> solution usually becomes apparent.
> Richard Hervey
>
> Ever wish you could live next door to your best friends?
> <http://www.cohousing-corvallis.com/index.shtml>


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