Cohousing-L Mailing List: Expect, not Require preparation of common meals

In both communities I've lived in (Doyle Street and Swan's Market) 

it has been put out to newcomers AT THE VERY FIRST, introductory 

session/orientation that every adult is expected, not required, to 

participate in the preparation of common meals. I can't count the 

number of times, I heard the plea/whine, "but I can't  cook!"  from 

a newbie, and we always said, in the most off-hand way, "Eh...not to 

worry, we'll match you up with someone who can cook and you'll catch 

on in no time."  That almost always  quells the concern.    I think 

it's also really important to have the meal prep system/rotation 

managed separately from the other "work" that the community needs 

done to take care of itself.  In the almost fifteen years I've lived 

in cohousing, I've never once experienced a resident, old or new, 

owner or renter (or even, in my communities, visitors who are here 

for more than a couple of weeks) refuse to (or choose not to) 

participate in meal preparation.

When we are promoting cohousing, most of us stress the centrality of 

common meals to our way of life.  Opting out of common meal prep 

here, though not  technically "required"  (i.e., it's not in the CC 

and Rs) would be tantamount to not paying one's homeowner's dues, to 

my way of thinking.

In the 60 cohousing communities I've visited, those where common meal 

prep participation is not expected of everyone, are the communities 

that appear to have the fewest common meals, the lowest participation 

in the common meals they do have, and the least all around sense of 

cohesiveness. Usually, in communities where common meals are less 

frequent and less well attended, there are a few residents who are 

quite sad, because they were really looking forward to regular common 

meals when they first considered cohousing.

I recently attended a very early informational meeting  for a new 

group in my area, and there were lots of questions about what had 

already been decided by the few members of the small core group f(ur 

people, 3 households), and what was still up for grabs as the group 

developed and grew.  The burning soul speaking said there were only 

two decisions that had been made and that were immutable. I don't 

remember what the first one was, but the second was that every adult 

would be expected to participate in the preparation of common 

meals.  No one even raised an eyebrow at either one of the two 

"rules" that had been made for them.

Joani Blank
Swan's Market Cohousing
Oakland, CA

Hi Jenny,

>I know this is a highly-controversial topic (not sure why, but it always
>is), but I just want to remind everyone that in our community we do NOT
>require (and never have required) that every individual contribute to the
>meals program, and yet we have a thriving meals program nonetheless.  We
>have FIVE meals a week, every week, which are regularly attended by
>between 30 and 60 people in a community of 37 households.

>I feel that it is important for members of forming communities to know
>that, based on our experience, there is more than one way to ensure a
>successful meals program.

I think yours might be the first cohousing community i've heard of that has
4-5 meals per week without requiring everyone to contribute.  Can you say
more about what you think led to that success?

Thanks,

--Tree

-----------------------------------------------

Tree Bressen
1680 Walnut St.
Eugene, OR 97403
(541) 484-1156
tree [at] ic.org
http://www.treegroup.info

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Message: 6
Date: Thu, 30 Nov 2006 13:32:32 -0800 (PST)
From: Laura Jones <peverilj [at] yahoo.com>
Subject: [C-L]_ Looking for a group in metro-Atlanta
To: cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org
Message-ID: <20061130213232.96417.qmail [at] web53608.mail.yahoo.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1

If you know of any groups in the forming or planning stage in metro 

Atlanta (preferably intown), I'd appreciate their contact 

information. We would like to join a group early in the process, so 

we can get to know our future co-housing neighbors early on and have 

a say in the design process.

  If there are no such groups, we may consider starting one. Kind 

of daunting, but I'm willing to give it a try and see where it goes.

  Thanks-

  Laura Jones

---------------------------------
Everyone is raving about the all-new Yahoo! Mail beta.

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Message: 7
Date: Thu, 30 Nov 2006 18:58:32 EST
From: Dahako [at] aol.com
Subject: Re: [C-L]_ kids room flooring- marmoleum
To: cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org
Message-ID: <be7.87fb0fb.32a0ca28 [at] aol.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="US-ASCII"

Hi-

At Eastern Village, we have real linoleum in the kids room, with a few rugs
helping to define the various play areas.  There is a really nice  small rug

on one edge of the room, with a mirror hung low on the wall  next to 

it.  That

is the little baby area. One of our neighbors is a former  Montessori school

teacher and she helped set it up.  A week or so ago, she  pulled 

some stuff out

of the room, rearranged, and added a train table.   Kids do the messy stuff,
like painting, in the lino areas, and have rugs and  pillows elsewhere.

We also have a "game" room for older kids (and some adults).  It also  has a
linoleum floor. In fact, most of the common house has linoleum  floors.  The
dining room has bamboo.  I think the guest rooms might  have carpet, but I

can't remember and I'm feeling to lazy to walk over and look.  The 

elevators have

Flor tiles.

In all the linoleum-floored rooms, we could definitely use some additional

sound management, like acoustic panels on the walls 

and  ceiling.  We designed

the kids room pretty well for sound  control - high ceilings, direct door to
the outside, bathroom  inside, unopenable windows facing into the living room
so parents can  supervise from outside the room.  But the amount of sound

leakage still  bothers some folks in the dining room, and, as more 

kids join us the

sound  levels are increasing.

I also have some experience with cork flooring.  We installed a cork  floor

in my son's bedroom.  It was cheap because we installed it as 

a  floating floor

and did all the labor ourselves in less than a day. (My husband  is really
good with a chop saw.) The cork is nice looking, sound damping, and  easy to

clean.  It is also holding up well to a fair amount of abuse. 

And  my favorite --

it is never cold to the touch.

Jessie Handforth Kome
Eastern Village Cohousing
Silver Spring, Maryland
"Where our third holiday season is upon us and I think the decorations may
go up without controversy this year!"

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End of Cohousing-L Digest, Vol 34, Issue 38
*******************************************

Joani Blank
land line (preferred): 510-834-7399
cell: 510-387-1315
joani [at] swansway.com

<http://www.joaniblank.com>www.joaniblank.<http://www.joaniblank.com>com  

Expect, not Require preparation of common meals	<– Date –> <– Thread –>
From: Joani Blank (joaniswansway.com)
Date: Sun, 3 Dec 2006 01:15:44 -0800 (PST)